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Non-Custodial Parent and Parenting Time

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:25 PM
  • 4 Replies

So, where I live, instead of visitation, it is called "parenting time".

In either case - here is my gripe:

My kids are 5 and 7. They have a 2-week Winter Break which is great. By law - I have to split these two weeks evenly with the non-custodial parent (their "dad"). We had agreed that I would get 12/24-12/30 and that he would get 12/31-1/6. He had them all week last year for Christmas and I put my foot down this year and said it is MY year to get them for Christmas (all day/week).

He sends me a text today, after I had already made plans for 12/24-12/30 with my kids and my family - that he wants them earlier.

I struggled a bit with a response but I decided NO - we had agreed what we had agreed (I have all of this in texts) and I have already made plans for my week.

Am I being unreasonable? Or am I expecting too much for this adult child to keep their word?

Any other Mom's out there in the same situation? He can NEVER follow through on anything... and I am so tired of having to conform to him.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:25 PM
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by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:29 PM
We do the same thing but switch years on who has week of Christmas and week including new years. No you are not being unreasonable... follow court order and just him plans have been made already based on that agreement.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:37 PM

Thanks Connie! He doesn't ever spend time with them anyway when it's his weekend. He typically drops them off to his Mom and then they call me all day from there. My poor babies. :(

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:55 AM

 :( No bueno!!!!! Stick to your guns and don't give in to him... he expects it since you've done it before... He needs to grow up keep his word... good luck to you

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:16 AM
In my state each parent gets Christmas time every year. One gets Christmas eve from Dec 23rd-dec 24th at 9pm and te other gets Christmas Day from 9pm Dec 24th- Dec 25th at 6pm with it alternating each year. Then the rest of the break is split in halves. I like it that way and think it is fair. I would not be happy if I had zero Chriatmas time with Dd every other year!

Does Bd at least have LO the weekend before the 24th? If so, I wouldnt change plans since he can use the weekend for Christmas time but if not I would at least consider giving him some Christmas time even if it's just the Sat and Sun before Christmas and asking that he does the same for you each year and revising the co. It's not a happy time for any parent to not see their kids for the holidays and even if you hate him and don't care how he feels at least be the mature parent and try to be fair. If you think you are being fair then don't worry about it and tell him no, he can't see her. But I personally don't think that's the best solution to this problem. It must have been difficult for you last year to not see them and will be again next year. I would fix the issue for yourself not for him.
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