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Christmas - No Job = No Money

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:36 PM
  • 11 Replies

 So for almost 3yrs not I've been a SAHM. I have 2 boys (2yo & 4mo). My husband left me last November 2011, December 2011 I found out I was pregnant with #2. We tried to make things work but ultimately we just settled our custody agreement and are pending divorce. Before and while pregnant I was watching another little boy and making $800/m in May 2012 I started having complications with my pregnancy due to stress & possible pre-term labor I had to stop "working" and haven't since then. I've been looking like crazy, interviewed with several companies with no luck thus far. I even was rejected by...TOYS R US!!! <-- They had a help wanted to the holiday season sign out front which is why I applied. They said I was over qualified.

So my question, how do you make Christmas work with no money?! I've been living with my mom and I am so very thankful that she fronted my entire legal fees and have signed a homemade IOU stating I will pay her back the legal fees and them some once I find employment. My 2yo now understands that under the Christmas tree is where the presents go. With the books, pictures & malls they all have an abundance of presents overflowing the bottom of the tree I feel like that is what he is going to expect. I feel like such a shitty mom that I can't provide for my children, I also feel guilty that my family will be giving us gifts and that I cannot give back to them. I beat my self up inside because I know that right now I am not able to be the mom I want too. Thank God for coupons because I don't know that I would do.

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LauraMH
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:03 AM
2 moms liked this

There was a year when I couldn't buy my son a single thing and I know how awful that feels. My bff bought him a toy for me to give to him. At her age there are a few things that you could do. If you have even $10, go to Target and search the dollar bins. Try the dollar store and call a toys for tots location and see if you qualify for help. So sorry you are going through this mama. Don't get down on yourself though. Everyone has years when they struggle more than others. You are doing the best you can and that is all that matters now.

strngenough
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:18 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm starting to hate Xmas with stuff like this. You DO provide for him. He has a roof, clothes, and food. A lot of kids don't have that. He's 2 so he will expect whatever you teach him. You don't need to teach him that it's all about presents. Teach him about making cookies, decorating, caroling, seeing family, Xmas movies, going to see lights people put up, but do not feel bad that he isn't going to get a talking furby he will forget about in a month. Take him to volunteer at homeless shelters so he can see kids who really have nothing if he doesn't think "it's fair" but Christmas is not about getting a new toy and if you teach him that he won't even know what to be upset about. If you had money and he was going through his gifts and he turned to you and said, "what did you get me this stuff is not enough," you would be mad. You've got enough going on and it sounds like you are working hard to get in a good spot. I don't think you need to beat yourself up over this.
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trublonde130
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:23 AM

 Unfortunately the "Toy Request" for TFT is closed. I don't qualifyfor WIC, SNAP or government program because my 'husband' makes too much :/ even though we are separated I still have to check married and provide that information. THIS SUCKS!!!! He can go out to bars weekly, to the casinos in nearby states, blow cash there, at the hotels and on his homewrecking whore of a girlfriend as well as his friends, but says paying $800/m in CS is breaking the bank for him. I love Target, but I despise going there now because I see all these carts full of toys, clothes, games & more and I'm in the aisle count my blessing that the card will be accepted for the few items I have just for the kids.

Quoting LauraMH:

There was a year when I couldn't buy my son a single thing and I know how awful that feels. My bff bought him a toy for me to give to him. At her age there are a few things that you could do. If you have even $10, go to Target and search the dollar bins. Try the dollar store and call a toys for tots location and see if you qualify for help. So sorry you are going through this mama. Don't get down on yourself though. Everyone has years when they struggle more than others. You are doing the best you can and that is all that matters now.

 

trublonde130
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:40 AM

 For me, I think it's harder because my son does have a significant speech delay. So a lot of the stuff I am wanting to get him would help improve his speech. I have been doing the baking, cooking, watching Christmas movies on ABC Family, listening to music, doing Elf on the Shelf, decorating and more. A lot of people in our neighborhood don't decorate. There are actually only 4 people out of 57 homes that have decorations outside and that's me, my neighbors to the left, right of us and directly in front of me. People don't decorate around here like the did when I was a kid, where just about every house was twinkling to the brim. Going to see family is rough since its just my mom, me and the boys here and the rest of my family is 3 states away. I need $1,000 worth of work done on my car (tires, brakes and rotors). Everything all around sucks and I am trying to rub 2 pennies that I don't have :(

 What blows is the fact of when he is with his dad (he lives with his mom as well) she makes Christmas this big spectical. Her ENTIRE living room floor is covered in presents and she'll make comments like "sorry Christmas was as good as last year" and then smirk about it. Just to picture her living room is the standard spilt-level home with the LR upstairs, it's to the point that you cannot even walk into the room and it becomes grab the present infront of you and yell who it is for so they can claim it.

Quoting strngenough:

I'm starting to hate Xmas with stuff like this. You DO provide for him. He has a roof, clothes, and food. A lot of kids don't have that. He's 2 so he will expect whatever you teach him. You don't need to teach him that it's all about presents. Teach him about making cookies, decorating, caroling, seeing family, Xmas movies, going to see lights people put up, but do not feel bad that he isn't going to get a talking furby he will forget about in a month. Take him to volunteer at homeless shelters so he can see kids who really have nothing if he doesn't think "it's fair" but Christmas is not about getting a new toy and if you teach him that he won't even know what to be upset about. If you had money and he was going through his gifts and he turned to you and said, "what did you get me this stuff is not enough," you would be mad. You've got enough going on and it sounds like you are working hard to get in a good spot. I don't think you need to beat yourself up over this.

 

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this
At 2 yo he doesnt understand how many presents he gets. Go to dollar tree or a thrift store and but him several little things and he will never know the difference.
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Mama_Gillogley
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:00 AM

well- the ex mother in law seems to be adding a nice touch to the holiday. i'm sorry about that. i know the feeling of wanting to provide a great big Christmas and not being able to- and not just because you want to "WOW" your child but because they have needs. my son has never owned blocks. my son never had a highchair. my son has gone without, and as a mom i can go without, but seeing your child go without basic things that you want so badly for them is so frustrating, especially when there is another adult who should be paying child support. my son's father has never given me a dime- so i know how that goes. It's got to sting a little bit more when your child is struggling with learning a skill and all you want to do is make his Christmas bright and help him learn. I get that...

Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is never comfortable, but keep your head up, your feelings are extremely valid- I wish i had a magic wand to make it all better but well, i haven't found one yet- and until then i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find a way to have a merry Christmas in spite of these circumstances. :)

strngenough
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah and that's neat to see the presents. But when he gets an owie he doesn't cry for her or her gifts. He calls out for you. Don't under estimate his ability to know what he really cares about. For lights there's always certain neighborhoods that go all out. We used to drive to go see them.


Quoting trublonde130:

 For me, I think it's harder because my son does have a significant speech delay. So a lot of the stuff I am wanting to get him would help improve his speech. I have been doing the baking, cooking, watching Christmas movies on ABC Family, listening to music, doing Elf on the Shelf, decorating and more. A lot of people in our neighborhood don't decorate. There are actually only 4 people out of 57 homes that have decorations outside and that's me, my neighbors to the left, right of us and directly in front of me. People don't decorate around here like the did when I was a kid, where just about every house was twinkling to the brim. Going to see family is rough since its just my mom, me and the boys here and the rest of my family is 3 states away. I need $1,000 worth of work done on my car (tires, brakes and rotors). Everything all around sucks and I am trying to rub 2 pennies that I don't have :(


 What blows is the fact of when he is with his dad (he lives with his mom as well) she makes Christmas this big spectical. Her ENTIRE living room floor is covered in presents and she'll make comments like "sorry Christmas was as good as last year" and then smirk about it. Just to picture her living room is the standard spilt-level home with the LR upstairs, it's to the point that you cannot even walk into the room and it becomes grab the present infront of you and yell who it is for so they can claim it.


Quoting strngenough:

I'm starting to hate Xmas with stuff like this. You DO provide for him. He has a roof, clothes, and food. A lot of kids don't have that. He's 2 so he will expect whatever you teach him. You don't need to teach him that it's all about presents. Teach him about making cookies, decorating, caroling, seeing family, Xmas movies, going to see lights people put up, but do not feel bad that he isn't going to get a talking furby he will forget about in a month. Take him to volunteer at homeless shelters so he can see kids who really have nothing if he doesn't think "it's fair" but Christmas is not about getting a new toy and if you teach him that he won't even know what to be upset about. If you had money and he was going through his gifts and he turned to you and said, "what did you get me this stuff is not enough," you would be mad. You've got enough going on and it sounds like you are working hard to get in a good spot. I don't think you need to beat yourself up over this.

 


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Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 5:28 AM
If youre not far from a church take him to christmas plays. Mine takes kids on hayrides and caroling. They also give kids presents at that time too. A lot of churches give christmas help and dinner. Im in a worse boat right now. So i know. My girls had christmases where they wrapped old toys and pretended they were new gifts. Made me sad but they were having fun. We had thrift store christmases and the girls didnt care! There were new toys games never been opened for less than a buck
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Misha1204
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 6:26 AM
Call First Link from your cell...211. They'll give you 24-hour information in regards to Toy Drives in your area.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Hugs!

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