I am writing today because i am lost. I dont even know where to begin. I guess ill start with i am the mother of a 7 month old little girl. I am raising her all on my own. I am 23 years old. I got married when i turned 18. My ex and i have been seperated for a year but we are still legally married. My ex was always in and out..each day you never knew what was going to happen. He hide alot from me during our marriage. He was addicted to cocaine, went awol from the military, spent time in jail for civilian Felony charges and spent time in prison for dessertion. After all of the lies and cheating i thought he had turned his life around..he promised he was off of drugs, he learned his lessons, he was a little older, he opened his own business. I thought everything was turning out the way id always hoped. I loved this man, so very much. I still do. But this man has hurt me in every single way possible..i never knew a person could feel such pain. My heart literlly aches. He left again a week before i found out i was pregnant. Took everything out of no where one day while i was out with my sister. During this past year he had been with many woman, calls me once in a while and has seen the baby 3 times. In the back of my head i thought he would come back and be the changed man i loved. But i am a fool for even wanting him, HOW COULD I WANT him? How can i love a man who abandoned me and my child. We tooks vows and promised eachother till death do us part. It wasnt always bad between us, we were once so in love and so happy. But the drugs and the cheating tore of apart..and how can you go back after all that...now i am here raising my daughter alone. He recently has asked to take the baby alone and i wont allow it..he can come here to see her but i dont trust him with his record\history. His mother took my to court and i allowed her 1 day a month as long as the my ex wasnt present. She was granted 1 day a month for 3 hours and we go back in 1 month to determine longer hours and my ex is not to be there. He is now so angry with me, i have never seen him this angry and mad, He told me he was going to get me where it hurts and to wait and see..2 weeks later he is now 'in a relationship' with my ex friend of 15 years. When will the hurt stop? When will i not care? Why cant i get over this guy? What do i do about my daughter? How can i cut my ties if we have a child? My life is wonderful and the only thing holding heavy on my heart and chest is him. I cant keep hiding my feelings and i want to be healhty again and happy. I love my daughter and she brings me more joy then ive ever known. My family and i are very close but underneath it all i am so scared and hurt by this man. How can i still love him and how can i stop him from hurting me. Everything ive ever wanted with him i know i will never have. The family i dreamed of is torn apart. I dont even think he loves me anymore or if he ever did. I am sick of this war. And now i am dealing with court. I feel alone, stressed and lost. Advice?