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OK Ladies..New advice on my relationship

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:19 PM
  • 11 Replies

So here is the short (hopefully) of the deal lol.  We hvae been dating since August, our children have met.  He is a wonderful, caring man.  We do not live in the same town, about 40 miles away from each other.  We spend the weekends together and sometimes during the week.  Here is my dilema.  After being a bit quiet for a couple of days, I aked him what was going on.  His response was that of concern because the feelings we have are great, and enjoyable, BUT... he seems to think that I am "stuck" where I am at right now.  I have an in home daycare, work 2 other part time jobs, coach baseball (4 teams), help with  a parents group, etc.. I am pretty involved. Now my children are getting older 14 and going to be 10. In my divorce papers it states that as long as the school year is going on we are not allowed to change school districts.  We are only here right now because this is where they go to school, but were already planning on moving after this school year is done.  Now I explained to him that this is where I live right now, not forever. I told him it is not like we are getting married in the next few months,so we do not need to worry about it right now.  Yep..  I said that... Sounds a bit harsh right? That is what I was sthinking after getting off of the phone.  We have always been 100 %open and honest with eachother and now I feel bad.  I am wondering if anyone else has been in a situation like this where you did end up moving away and how your kids handled everything

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:19 PM
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by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:39 PM
Sounds like he wants to settle down soon and is seeing if that's where you are. Why do you coach four teams? It's okay to be involved but it sounds like its time to make a change and a shift if you plan to be with this man. Doesn't mean you have to completely give up what you love to do. But even men need to be secure about the relationship and where it's going.
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Thank you :) That is what I was thinking also.. A bit scarey and amazing at the same time!

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:31 PM
Sounds like he might be more serious about yalls future than you are. You stretch yourself too thin, so maybe hes trying to figure out where and how he fits.
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:58 PM
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In every relationship it is AWESOME at the beginning!!!

You have only been together since August, 4 Months!  I dont think that is enough time for you to be making changes in your life and in the life of your kids for him.  There are to much ladies making quick moves based on infactuation.  I have talked to a lady I know yesterday!!! She moved because she was dating this guy for a few months and wanted to be with him.  She got pregnant and had a little girl, few months later he left her for someone else.  Now she is crying in regret that she made a change in her whole life because of him.  (Not saying this will happen to you)!  Its just that give your relationship some more courting time before you start making plans because of him, which include moving you and your kids, changing job activities etc.

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by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:11 PM
I agree with beautyfull; it's way to soon in the relationship to plan a big move when there are kids involved. However, I am happy for you that you found what is looking to be a good man. I don't think what you said is remotely harsh. Having a CO can put the breaks on many things. By summertime you will have gotten to know him better and be in a greater position to make a huge decision like this for your family. I wish you all the best of luck! Here's to hoping he's the one!
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by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 8:32 PM
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I would like to say thank you to everyone!!! I am glad that I have seen both sides of this from others views also.  I will be taking it slower, not jumping into anything to fast.  We will see how this goes, I will keep people posted :)

by Platinum Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 8:47 PM

 I am not sure what you are asking  if anytihing.  You say you live where you are right now because the kids are in school.  Are you planning on moving nearer to the guy you are dating when school gets out?  You may have to get some type of permission from your ex  if it's moving out of the current city/county where you both live.  Your b/f maybe living in the same state but several counties/cities away. Remember they are not his kids, and you are the mom and you need to think about your kids and the relationship with their father if he is in the picture - visitation, etc.???

by Platinum Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 8:51 PM
sounds to me like he,s backing up a bit..maybe he needs time..
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:09 PM

I would talk to the ex about your situation and see if he's willing to allow you to move at least closer to the bf.  But, also remember that you just met this new guy and you barely know him and the relationship is very new.  I would give it more time before I moved forward. 

by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Well I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that advised me. Wanted to let everyone know that we ended up breaking up... It is ok though because we are still talking.  The distance was just becoming to much I guess.. Again thank you

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