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Very serious situation

Posted by on Dec. 16, 2012 at 10:42 PM
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I am a single mom with two daughters, 15 and 12.  My son who is almost 21 also lives with me.  He works and so do i, so the girls are home alone alot during the week and sometimes on the weekend.  I recently found out that my 15 year old may have been sexually assaulted by one of her "friends" while I was at work.  She wont give me details and I suspect alcohol was involved.  This is killing me and breaking my heart.  I dont know what to do.  Pursing the matter may end up causing her more pain, but she needs to deal with this.  i just dont know how to handle.

by on Dec. 16, 2012 at 10:42 PM
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Heather_309
by on Dec. 16, 2012 at 11:25 PM
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I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. Have you thought about getting her in to talk with a therapist? Sometimes others can get it out of our kids, especially at that age. Kids think if they tell mom they will be in trouble, or embarrassed. I hope she will be able to fully let you know what happened, I can't image how you must feel.
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Dec. 16, 2012 at 11:29 PM
I am wondering why you think she "may" have been assaulted. Did she say something? I mean if she won't give you details then what are you basing the assumptions on?
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GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 9:19 AM
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Yes, I am looking for a therapist for her.  I just feel so helpless.  I really want to punish the boys who did it, but I know from experience that most likely she will end up suffering more than they will. 

 

And yes, I said "boys", plural. 

GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 9:20 AM

She admitted it to her sister and when I confronted her she just began to cry. 

I feel like I failed as a parent.  I thought I did everything right, instilling rules, no boys allowed when I am not home, I talk to them openly about smoking, drugs, alcohol and about sex and protecting your body.  I can't be there all the time.  If I don't work we don't eat.  My daughter is very smart, never gets in trouble, has straight As.  I just don't understand how this could have happened. What did I do wrong?

mytrueloveS
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 10:40 AM
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Teenagers break the rules and in the end do whatever they want.  Don't feel that you failed as a parent, if she can't open up to you maybe a therapist might help.  Good luck to you and your daughter.  

steviechick
by Gold Member on Dec. 17, 2012 at 11:11 AM
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Remember it's not your fault.  You said it was an assault.  Why not call the police and report it?  Your DD needs to seek therapy just as soon as can be.  She can't go through this ordeal without seeking professional help.  Has she seen a doctor?  Take her to one ASAP.   SO sorry this has happened.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:27 PM

I would definately be finding a therapist or counselor for her to talk to and help her cope with what she went through.  I would also be taking her to the dr for a check up (which I know she may not like) but it would probably be best to have a full checkup done.  Hugs!!

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 1:23 PM
I had a similar situation with dd when she was 14. She wouldnt talk to me about it, but finally confided in my best friend and said she didnt talk to me about it because she was afraid of hurting and disappointing me. Anyway, I called his parents and they came over and we talked it all through. They very severly disciplined the boy so I didnt involve the police.
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GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 6:23 PM

I did suggest to her letting me call the parents.  I think she is afraid of other kids at school finding out.  She did confess that they gave her alcohol and she cant remember much of it.  That is why I am reluctant to go to the police.  I think it would be worse for her than for the boys.  I just want to help her get through it,. 

I do know the boys are both 18 though so it would be really bad for them.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 17, 2012 at 11:42 PM


Quoting easinpc:

I would definately be finding a therapist or counselor for her to talk to and help her cope with what she went through.  I would also be taking her to the dr for a check up (which I know she may not like) but it would probably be best to have a full checkup done.  Hugs!!

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