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here we go pls help

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:09 AM
  • 13 Replies
So I'm a mother of one who has one year left of high school to get done, I don't drive and finding a job has been hard and depending on Df father when he has put me threw so much is hard too.

My son is 6months old and my mom who I don't live with has been trying to get me to go to a place called job core where they will help me finish high school and find a job and keep one as well as college options. But its an 1hour away and I would have to leave my son with her untilled I'm done and idk if that would be the smartest choice. I would miss him so much but if I do this it would better our futures. But the thought of my mom rasing him when she wasn't the best mom to me is hard to imagine. And missing all his new special moments or the 1st he says mom I wouldn't be able to be there breaks my heart. So idk what to do...

Also me and his dad have been going threw this on and off relationship but yet we spend alot of time together since I live down the street with his aunt since I have no real help from my family. But when he's not with me he's with some girl who he owes 500 to and used to date her to keep her from taking him to court because he lost his job and has no way of paying her right now. "That's his excuse " and after I got fed up and made a big scene abt it they broke up but now he hangs out with her on the side but swears up and down he loves me. But I'm so fed up and sick of living like this but so afraid to walk away because this is all I know and when nobody there for me he was and still is. So idk what to do. Pls help.
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lexx95
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:59 AM
2 moms liked this
Wow.i can understand what your going through but you have to think it through for the best for you and your son...I think he still mess with her .but you have to worry about your son first and not him
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pattya925
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:14 AM
2 moms liked this

Not sure what to tell you about the relationship piece.  Just keep your child at the center of your decisions.  What choices will lead to the best end result for him?  What would give him the most long-term stability?

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:37 AM
2 moms liked this
Job corps is your best option right now to get you into a position to best take care of yourself and your child. As single moms, we have to sometimes make short term compromises for long term gains.

Your mom will only be with your child short term. It's not permanent. Just keep that in mind.

Cut ties with baby daddy other than allowing him to have time with your child. He obviously doesn't respect you or your feelings. You deserve better. He acts like he does because you continue to put up with it. Put your foot down and tolerate his foolishness no more.
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strngenough
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:59 AM
2 moms liked this
You have a life time of special moments to see. What you don't want is a life time of "mommy I'm hungry why don't we have food?" Etc.
as for the relationship, I remember when I was that age thinking I would never find again what I had with that someone. I don't know if I could have convinced my younger self, but there are so many good men out there. At that age the boys aren't even men yet. Get your education and enjoy experiencing life.
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victoriahearts
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:30 AM
2 moms liked this

It's hard to make difucult decision but it's part of growing up and part of being a mother to a child now.  It sadden me to say but i have missed many first moments with my son because I work, but I don't regret making that decision, both for the financial aspect of being able to give him a wonderful life and as well as knowing that I could accomplish so much for own my life and career, a mother my son could be proud of. As long as you can trust your mother to care for you son's will being and that she wouldn't put him in danger I think this is a wonderful chance for you to make a wonderful future for the two of you. As for your son father I would put some distance between you and him for a period of time, first focus on your future and goals and once you have achieved those, then revisit the on and off relationship with him, you may find that after you have accomplished so much, he no longer fit in your life and a romantic option but hopefully he can be a good father to your son. 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this. Hugs!!

Quoting pattya925:

Not sure what to tell you about the relationship piece.  Just keep your child at the center of your decisions.  What choices will lead to the best end result for him?  What would give him the most long-term stability?


springbabyface
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Thank u all for the advice!
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:44 PM
3 moms liked this

 excuses. in my years i have learned that on and off elationships are bullshit. quit the relationship. hes playing you. he wouldnt be hanging w that girl if he didnt want to.

NorasMom190
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:38 PM
1 mom liked this

TAKE HIM TO COURT FOR CHILD SUPPRT

EachNewBreath
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this

YEEEEEEEEEEEES this!

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

Job corps is your best option right now to get you into a position to best take care of yourself and your child. As single moms, we have to sometimes make short term compromises for long term gains.

Your mom will only be with your child short term. It's not permanent. Just keep that in mind.

Cut ties with baby daddy other than allowing him to have time with your child. He obviously doesn't respect you or your feelings. You deserve better. He acts like he does because you continue to put up with it. Put your foot down and tolerate his foolishness no more.


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