Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Am I being selfish?? Or is he taking advantage??

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:40 AM
  • 106 Replies
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We were living in his house until August of 2011, when I found out he was going to lose it to foreclosure. I have 2 kids and was not going to wait until the bank took his house to find a new home for my kids. He said he was waiting until the end to move. So I packed up my kids and bought a house. Soon after he moved in with us. Now he is working out of town and comes home on the weekends, but he almost refuses to help with any of the financial responsibilities. I make enough to support myself and my girls, but I struggle a lot. I'm conflicted on weather I should push the issue. I receive child support from my kids father, so do I have the right to ask him to help too? He is only here on weekends and I made the choice to move and buy my own house in the first place. I have recently told him I am going to look for a second job, and he suggested places for me to apply. He didn't offer any financial help. If i ask for money to pay bills(and i never ask for money for anything but bills) i have to pay him back as soon as i get my paycheck. I do believe he is a good man, and an excellent step father for my kids. How do I handle this?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:40 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lovejessierae
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:48 AM
6 moms liked this
i would say he is definately taking advantage, tell him that you cant do this by yourself and that you need his help. Have him pay like 2 bills or something like that
thats just my opinion though
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:52 AM
2 moms liked this
If he is only there on weekends, does he have his own rent/bills/etc. I wouldn't expect someone who visits me to pay any bills.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
strngenough
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:54 AM
3 moms liked this
He's just there on the weekends, so it's hard. It's not like he's there fulltime. I'm guessing he has to support himself where he is all week. I can see him chipping in for food, but if he had a foreclosure he's obviously hurting for cash too. Sorry
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DieselsMom
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:57 AM
3 moms liked this

were you helping with him financially when you were living with him???

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:28 AM
6 moms liked this
Did you help pay bills at his house? If hes living there, even only on weekends, he should help you financially. I think you should push the issue and insist on it. If he refuses, maybe he should find another place.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
greensgirl
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
He does not have any bills now. He stays at his uncles cabin while he works, no rent or bills there either. And yes I paid the electric bill and bought all the groceries when we were at his place. There wasent a house pmt due to the foreclosure.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
HyperMom38
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:46 AM
18 moms liked this

Umm, yes- he is taking advantage.  What's worse is that he appears to be not only a mooch but a financial loser as well- that's why his house got foreclosed on right?- failure to pay the bank and now he is failing to "pay" you for his housing.  Think into the future a little- do you want to be the sole supporter of a family?  Because even though he works, if he is not giving you any of the money he earns to help with the bills it's the same as if you were the only one working.  He's a mooch honey- it's time to give him the old heave-ho and let him find another "sugar momma".  Mark my words- he'll find another one before you see the end of January.  They always do!

deltathree
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:46 AM
3 moms liked this

Kick him to the curb - that's not a man - that's a moocher!

GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:01 PM
3 moms liked this

If he doesnt pay rent or bills anywhere else, then he should help you, for at least the time he is there.  With the groceries at least, if he is eating there.  He is not responsible for your kids, but I would think he could help you if you were helping him.  My bf and I do not live together, he owns two houses, and he still helped me last year when I was struggling.  I think your bf should want to help you.  If he doesn't, then he may be taking advantage. 

KRIZZ25
by Platinum Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:03 PM
he needs to help..even to buy food and pay a small bill..
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN