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Am I being selfish?? Or is he taking advantage??

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We were living in his house until August of 2011, when I found out he was going to lose it to foreclosure. I have 2 kids and was not going to wait until the bank took his house to find a new home for my kids. He said he was waiting until the end to move. So I packed up my kids and bought a house. Soon after he moved in with us. Now he is working out of town and comes home on the weekends, but he almost refuses to help with any of the financial responsibilities. I make enough to support myself and my girls, but I struggle a lot. I'm conflicted on weather I should push the issue. I receive child support from my kids father, so do I have the right to ask him to help too? He is only here on weekends and I made the choice to move and buy my own house in the first place. I have recently told him I am going to look for a second job, and he suggested places for me to apply. He didn't offer any financial help. If i ask for money to pay bills(and i never ask for money for anything but bills) i have to pay him back as soon as i get my paycheck. I do believe he is a good man, and an excellent step father for my kids. How do I handle this?
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by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:40 AM
Replies (101-106):
gamermom81
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:53 PM

you are his sugar momma

Allicat301
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:42 AM

Does he eat your food and use your utilities? He needs to contribute some funds. That's pure slackness he's going on with.

FostAdoptTX
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:09 AM

Even if he is only there on the weekend, he should be contributing if that is his home.  Does he receive his mail there?  It is not your fault he works out of town and that's not a unique situation.  When I travel for work and my house sits empty, I don't get to tell the bank I am only going to pay for the days I wasn't stuck in a hotel for work.  If he didn't come home to your house, he'd have to rent an apartment or find another living situation and pay for that so why shouldn't he help you?

 

victoriahearts
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:17 AM

I would handle it by sitting down and stating the obvious, he lives with you regardless of how many days a month that is. Explain to him that just like you helped when you live in his home, you expect him to help now that he lives with you. There is the added cost of actually having to make house payments so he should pay either have to pay a small percentage of the house payment or cover the expenses of something else in the house. I'm sorry but it's not far that you house him in your home and feed him while he gets to live rent free in both his uncle cabin and your home, where does all his money go that he can't pitch in. I get that he only lives there 8 days a month, but that is still extra food and extra everything else and he should be contributing especially after dating 3 years. 

ssenter
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 12:07 AM
I think he should be helping with food and utilities and be charged rent if he's there every weekend.
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GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:39 PM


Quoting potgieter:

no freaking way! He is only there weekends and he is your boyfriend. you have no right to ask him to pay bills, they are your responsibility!

When I was living with my boyfriend only on weekends there was NO way I'd help out even though he was struggling.

You took on the house, if its to big for you, thats your mistake. 


That is ridiculous! Of course she has the right to ask for help! Does he have to right to expect her to do his laundry? She obviously can take care of herself and her kids she just can't afford another grown person. I totally get it. You obviously don't. If he is any kind of man he should offer to help. I dont think she is asking him to take care of her responsibilities, she is asking him to take care of his. There is nothing wrong with that.

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