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Single Moms Single Moms

Trying to decide to divorce or not

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 4:04 PM
  • 8 Replies
I'm a SAHM with a 3.5 yr old son. I depend on my husband right now for food and shelter. It's hard to leave our house when I have no choice but to live with my 68 yr old mom that I don't get along with on a good day. Divorce is hard. Single mom is hard. Marriage to a husband that is mentally and financially abusive is hard. Don't want my son to grow up like his dad. Don't want to struggle either. Divorce will be expensive, drawn out and ugly. I may lose the assets knowing me. I'm not a fighter. May lose my sanity. Difficult to say. I feel a bit happier to finally make decisions after 10 years of control.

So is it really worth it to be single with the financial struggle and a child?
Better to be in a marriage without equality, love, trust? For the sake of money?
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 4:04 PM
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Replies (1-8):
zahairasMom
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 4:59 PM
If stay and u r unhappy then whats the point in the money,.there is help out there!! Even if u leave gey him for child support, food stamps,wic....there is no shame in doing what u have to do.
victoriahearts
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 5:09 PM

Divorce is hard but it seems like the only choice for you right now, as for asking for a divorce, generally you can request to stay in the house with your child as part of the divorce and he move out, there is also the fact that you are STHM so you could be eliglible for spousal support after the divorce is settled and for child support. There is also many state programs that you can seek out for hlep while you settle into divorce life and are able to get back on your feet. It's just a matter of looking but there is help out there.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 19, 2012 at 5:52 PM

If you are unhappy and being abused you need to get out.  It's important to love yourself

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Yes, its much better being happy single than miserable married. Its even better for the children. If the parents are unhappy together, it always has negative effects on them. Its not easy, but it gets easier with time. Youll find your groove and routine and be happy again.
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:23 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Only you can find the answer.  I suggest you try therapy or counseling to.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Dec. 20, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Only you know what is best. I found I was much happier as were my kids and family after my divorce.
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MrsLondon
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:22 AM

It's well worth it to leave. No man is worth me being unhappy and miserable. Plus your son is going to grow up in a dysfunctional home all because you're afraid to do what every other single mother does? Put your big girl panties on and get out of there.

Don't be afraid to take a chance. Look for a job. Don't worry about daycare because child support will pay for that. Get government assistance at first if you need it until you can be 100% financially stable. There's no shame in getting help to get out of a bad situation.

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:25 AM
If you stay you are teaching your child that that's what a marriage should be. Do you want to set that example for your child?
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