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After 7 months of supporting my daughter, he claims she is not his!!!

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I need to vent..... I have a 9month old babygirl! My bd has never met her once due to him living in a different state now and his excuse he cannot get off work! Although we have a history on how I got pregnant he was having an affair on his wife for a year and a half with me and I eventually got pregnant. When I first found out he had moved away to try to work things out with his wife, I was fine with that found out I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and having been told by a dr I wasn't able to get pregnant on my own and being 28 with a full time job I decided to keep my daughter and raise her as a single mother but when his wife found out she left him and stupid me him and I started talking again! I went up north to visit him when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant to see if him and I could be together if the spark was there. Well I decided it wasn't and told him I was not going to move up there stuck there for three weeks I hated it! Anyhow I came back and he got a new gf no one got along for a long while but he did send $100 a week because he did not want me to go through child support well I'm not stupid I knew he could stop anytime so I filed for cs back in June! Anyways a month ago he got mad at me and we are now fighting but he stopped sending money because now his daughter is not his?!?! I can't find the common sense in all this! They have not served him yet! I don't know what to do or how to think! Will they give him credit for sending money the whole time! Now since he hates me if she is his he wants to sign away rights so he doesn't have to pay! Can he do that? Any advice will be appreciated!
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 9:03 PM
Replies (21-29):
Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:29 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting fairyjester:

i just think its kinda funny , you sleep with a married man the are surprised when he is not an upstanding kinda guy. LOL

In her defense, some of these married men/cheaters are very, very good at lying and master manipulators.  I was fooled myself by one, and I was quite surprised for quite awhile that he would hurt me as he did.  I'm sure the OP is hurting right now, it's not necessary to make wisecracks at her.  She obviously has learned the hard way what happens when you have a relationship with someone who is already married.   

Everyone is entitled to make a mistake and to feel the pain and hurt that comes from that. 


 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:23 PM

 no he cant sign his rights away unless you agree. let hte case go through CSE and be done with it and him. if he wants to see the kid he will take you to court.

Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Quoting Ridingsolo:



It was actually 2 years not months! He was married for 4 yrs but was deployed for a yr and half during that time! He doesn't resent me for the marriage not working at all he was stuck and didn't know how to get out the reason he is mad at me now is cause the new gf found out by me that he and I were still talking he was saying he missed me and she had wrote me on fb telling me that I needed to go take care of my child she has never met me doesn't know me I shouldn't have let her get to me but I did and I told her to go take care of her man cause he was still wanting me so now he doesn't trust me cause I wasn't supposed to tell her but I played his game the way he played me so now that's why he is claiming our daughter is not his!
Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:10 PM
Quoting fairyjester:

i just think its kinda funny , you sleep with a married man the are surprised when he is not an upstanding kinda guy. LOL




Glad you're loling at a mistake I made shit I'm human I'm sure as hell you're not perfect sometimes we are blinded and munipulated by these men! Especially since both the wife and him told me they were splitting up :)
melissa959799
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 11:29 PM
He can sign over his rights if you agree. You don't have to have someone adopt the child for this to happen. If he does sign over his rights he doesn't have to pay child support.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lyssa42
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Yes, thank you I actually went and met with a lawyer to find this out I do have to agree that he signs over rights! He finally got served with the paternity suit on his birthday 12/28/12 long awaited time since I filed back on June 7 2012. Now he has 20 days to respond to the papers so it's another waiting game then we will have to take a DNA test and then another waiting game for the results!!!
victoriahearts
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I agree with all the ladies, once the DNA comes back that she is his, he will be obligated to pay child support and maybe more then he was giving you now, and regardless of whether he signs away his parental rights which will be a gift to you since you wont ever have to deal with him regarding your child, he is still responsible for paying child support. The child needs to be adopted by someone ( your future husband) before the courts will allow child support to stop or when the child reaches a certain age. ( the ages varies state by state and whether they attend college or not)

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:25 AM
He can get credit for sending money only after the baby is born if he has documentation like canceled checks but you'd still be awarded retroactive CS. They'll prob mandate a DNA test. Just get the ball rolling and don't contact him.
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heleneclare
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:55 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. I know what you are going through. My husband of 9 years (he and I separated in Aug 2012) is now claiming that my pregnancy is not his, despite overwhelming evidence that it is his. The baby is due 3/2/13. I reside in a different state, but my attny has told me that not being listed on a birth certificate means nothing with regard to child support. The DNA test is going to clear all of that up. He's got nowhere to go with this, and you are doing absolutely the right thing in taking this into court and getting it resolved. I don't know what the laws are in FL with not paying child support, but generally, it's not pretty. Although it sux, you are doing exactly what you need to do. I am there with you, and we have to stay strong for our kids! 

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