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After 7 months of supporting my daughter, he claims she is not his!!!

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I need to vent..... I have a 9month old babygirl! My bd has never met her once due to him living in a different state now and his excuse he cannot get off work! Although we have a history on how I got pregnant he was having an affair on his wife for a year and a half with me and I eventually got pregnant. When I first found out he had moved away to try to work things out with his wife, I was fine with that found out I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and having been told by a dr I wasn't able to get pregnant on my own and being 28 with a full time job I decided to keep my daughter and raise her as a single mother but when his wife found out she left him and stupid me him and I started talking again! I went up north to visit him when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant to see if him and I could be together if the spark was there. Well I decided it wasn't and told him I was not going to move up there stuck there for three weeks I hated it! Anyhow I came back and he got a new gf no one got along for a long while but he did send $100 a week because he did not want me to go through child support well I'm not stupid I knew he could stop anytime so I filed for cs back in June! Anyways a month ago he got mad at me and we are now fighting but he stopped sending money because now his daughter is not his?!?! I can't find the common sense in all this! They have not served him yet! I don't know what to do or how to think! Will they give him credit for sending money the whole time! Now since he hates me if she is his he wants to sign away rights so he doesn't have to pay! Can he do that? Any advice will be appreciated!
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 9:03 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:49 AM
Quoting Andrewsmom70:

In all honesty, it might be easier in the long run to drop child support and keep his name off the bc. Especially if he's going to let these women determine how he acts towards his child. It might be best to let him walk away without a fight.



That's what he wants me to do I'm not letting him get off that easy plus I need child support to help with my daughter! In the long run I have text messages where he says he wants nothing to do with her I will fight to the bitter end to gets what she deserves! I am in a different state he already has one child he gave full custody to the mother and he raised that child till she was 4 I don't see a judge not giving me full custody sure he can have supervised visits but I doubt he will act on them
Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:58 AM
2 moms liked this

You would be saving your daughter a lot of trouble, it's not about letting the guy off easy or not.

My son is the product of an affair as well, so I can relate to that part.  His father and I were together for awhile though, and he told me he was through with his wife.  His father left when I was 12 weeks along but then came back when I was 9 months pregnant telling me they were through, etc., etc.  Big mess.  It wasn't true. 

Anyway, I left his name off the birth certificate and didn't take any child support, because I knew his heart was NOT into being a father.  Yet, I knew that if I requested child support, he'd be coming around for visits just for the sake of it.  I did not want to expose my son to someone who was not a good example and never wanted him in the first place.

Whether or not Florida favors the mother, your ex won't have too much trouble getting unsupervised visitations eventually, regardless of what text messages you saved.  The fact that he had been giving you money from the beginning will help his case a lot as well.  I have to agree with Andrewsmom70 here.

Also, you said you will fight to the bitter end....if you do end up having to deal with court and lawyer fees, that would probably offset any child support you will actually get.  Court is a bitch as are lawyers fees if you want a good lawyer. 

Do whatever you think is best, but try to think with your head and not your emotions. 

Quoting Lyssa42:

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

In all honesty, it might be easier in the long run to drop child support and keep his name off the bc. Especially if he's going to let these women determine how he acts towards his child. It might be best to let him walk away without a fight.



That's what he wants me to do I'm not letting him get off that easy plus I need child support to help with my daughter! In the long run I have text messages where he says he wants nothing to do with her I will fight to the bitter end to gets what she deserves! I am in a different state he already has one child he gave full custody to the mother and he raised that child till she was 4 I don't see a judge not giving me full custody sure he can have supervised visits but I doubt he will act on them


Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Quoting Ridingsolo:





The affair lasted almos two years I didn't just get pregnant on a one time deal! Also he has another child and he is not a bad father so if he wants to eventually e in my daughters life I don't have such a problem with it I do believe he wont act on anything though so we will see
easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:54 AM

I don't think he can sign away his rights unless there is another parent (like a stepfather) to adopt but I'm not sure.  I think it can vary from state to state.  Hugs!

Billiejeens
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:56 AM


Quoting Lyssa42:

I need to vent..... I have a 9month old babygirl! My bd has never met her once due to him living in a different state now and his excuse he cannot get off work! Although we have a history on how I got pregnant he was having an affair on his wife for a year and a half with me and I eventually got pregnant. When I first found out he had moved away to try to work things out with his wife, I was fine with that found out I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and having been told by a dr I wasn't able to get pregnant on my own and being 28 with a full time job I decided to keep my daughter and raise her as a single mother but when his wife found out she left him and stupid me him and I started talking again! I went up north to visit him when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant to see if him and I could be together if the spark was there. Well I decided it wasn't and told him I was not going to move up there stuck there for three weeks I hated it! Anyhow I came back and he got a new gf no one got along for a long while but he did send $100 a week because he did not want me to go through child support well I'm not stupid I knew he could stop anytime so I filed for cs back in June! Anyways a month ago he got mad at me and we are now fighting but he stopped sending money because now his daughter is not his?!?! I can't find the common sense in all this! They have not served him yet! I don't know what to do or how to think! Will they give him credit for sending money the whole time! Now since he hates me if she is his he wants to sign away rights so he doesn't have to pay! Can he do that? Any advice will be appreciated!


I am with you you there!   28 huh?

Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 10:02 AM
What do yo mean 28 huh?
Billiejeens
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 10:14 AM

Fairly old to not have any better sense than all this.

Lyssa42
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Quoting Billiejeens:

Fairly old to not have any better sense than all this.




Better sense how? You tried to put me down not going to happen very proud of the mother I have become a lot of growing up been pretty spoiled and got away with a lot up until I had my daughter so you can go somewhere else with your comments :)
fairyjester
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 12:00 PM
2 moms liked this

i just think its kinda funny , you sleep with a married man the are surprised when he is not an upstanding kinda guy. LOL

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:25 PM


Quoting Lyssa42:

Quoting Ridingsolo:





The affair lasted almos two years I didn't just get pregnant on a one time deal! Also he has another child and he is not a bad father so if he wants to eventually e in my daughters life I don't have such a problem with it I do believe he wont act on anything though so we will see

Just be careful.  He may resent your child, if he views it as the destruction of his marriage.  Two months is nothing in comparison to how long he was with his wife.  I thought five months was a long time for me, but then compared it to his time with his wife, and realized it was nothing.  Just be careful, these things get messy.  If he lives far away, though, sounds like he probably won't bother. 

I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Denying his child and actually saying it's not his is pretty despicable. 

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