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Selfish?

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:16 AM
  • 17 Replies

My question is am I being selfish? I feel that I am. I never wanted kids and now I am having one. My ex begged me to keep the baby. I have the classic story of " We were so happy and we found out we were pregnant then he split,etc." I am six months pregnant and have gone through this entire thing alone with no money. It's been tough. All I think about is I can not wait to have this baby and feel like this body is my own again. I think about all of things I want to do, like finish school, trying new things and being spontaneous like I used to. I get sad sometimes because although I do have times of pure excitement about meeting and loving my new baby. I have more times when I envsion my life after she's born, she is nothing more than an after thought. I feel horrible. Is this normal?

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Quintonmom
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:43 AM
I went through something similar with my 1st pregnancy. I don't if its normal for everyone but I had most of the same feelings and struggles as you do. I do know that everybody do have a breaking point, that point when you feel alone and broken. Don't let it keep you down sometimes you have to pull yourself out of that moment. My DS is 6yrs old and the light, love, and purpose for my life. I won't lie to u those were some of the darkest days of my life but I didn't give up. Take it day by day. My life isn't perfect now but ill take it. This pregnancy I just think positive and do what I can to change today.
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Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:05 AM

I was always excited about my son coming, but It is hard being alone and pregnant.  I went through it as well.  It's tough to feel like your body isn't your own...you can't do a lot of things while you're pregnant and it's very hormonal during that time.  I love energy drinks and couldnt touch them for 9 months, and I couldn't sit in the car comfortably for more than 20 minutes, etc.  It was uncomfy and difficult. 

Don't feel bad about how you are feeling.  It may take time to bond with your child after birth, so just make sure you are at least getting ready to take care of her and that you have supportive people around you.  You will be okay!

easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:55 AM

Hugs!

KRIZZ25
by Platinum Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:31 PM
ITS NORMAL .ONCE U SEE THAT BABY U WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT IT..
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 yes, dont worry it will get better once the baby is here and you can see your future with him/her in it. then you will plan accordingly.

Stubbytoe
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

THANK YOU FOR THE RESPONSES LADIES. <3

GI_Jane230
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:07 PM

I think "normal" is different for everyone.  I didnt see you write anything about giving up the baby so on some level you must want it.  I think it is "normal" to be scared and it is hard to imagine life with a baby if you have never had one.  But when you hold that baby in your arms, it will change you.  It will still be scary but you will have a whole new perspective.  Unless you are a truly selfish person and I dont think you are.  A truly selfish person wouldnt ask if they were selfish because they wouldnt care.  You obviously do. 

tyfry7496
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:12 PM
Exactly!!

Quoting faerie75:

 yes, dont worry it will get better once the baby is here and you can see your future with him/her in it. then you will plan accordingly.

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eb13
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:20 PM
Don't beat yourself up. You just don't identify yourself as a mom because you haven't had to before. You will eventually see your child as a normal part of your life. If you worry too much, you will react too strongly to every feeling you have. Let yourself be you...even if you aren't the "motherly" type, you definitely care and you will be fine. Life happens in various ways to various kinds of people, and we have to just take it as it comes with the best we have. Pregnancy isn't always the easiest time...look for support from family and friends, and don't hesitate to ask if you feel scared or desperate.
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strngenough
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:22 PM
I'd say normal. Being pregnant is like a pause button on life for 9 months. Too much you can't do, no real idea of how your life will change, and too much time to think. I'm right there with you.
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