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I am Struggling w/ BD & Timesharing

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I am having trouble coping with time away from my daughter while she is with her father. I thought joining this website would help me cope better and meet other women going through similar feelings and/or experiences. BD filed petetion againist me in the state of Florida, threatened to get 50/50 so I would have to pay him child support because I make more money than him.

I had to get an attorney, now I have spent $10,000 in attorneys fees and after almost a year this is still not resolved. My attorney had to file a motion and order againist BD to finalize the parenting plan and paternity settlement because its coming down to the wire and he still doesn't want to sign the paper work.

We have gone to mediation twice; and its like pulling teeth. The longest she has been with him is 3 nights and 4 days in a row, and it is so hard for me. I get so scared that something is going to happen to her. She is only 1x year old. He has no experience with children, no family that lives here except his step mom and she is 73 years old. I don't know who his friends are and am scared he could be exposing her to the wrong people or even leaving her with people I don't know. My attorney states that unless I have proof he is using drugs or drinking there is not much I can do. The court does not look highly upon "controlling" mothers, as I have been called. I am concerned, not controlling. She is only 1 year old and has no way of communicating if something happens to her or is around the wrong kind of things.

I know this is what I get for having sex outside of marriage with someone I have never even so much as lived with. There is no chances of us ever getting back together and now that she is starting to transition to cows milk, her appetite is changing and her dad just ignores emails I send him regarding planning and communicating of these types of issues. All he wants to email me about is how I am trying to keep him away from his daughter and that I am "alienating" him from her.  These statements make me cry so much because I do not want that at all. My main concern is her safety and well being.We cannot communicate by email let alone in person when we do the exhange. Now when I pick her up at his house, he is outside waiting for me to get there with her and doesn't even wait till I get there to knock on the door, as if he is trying to hide something. He claims I treat my daughter like an object because honestly when I see him, I feel extremely uncomfortable and just want to leave as quickly as possible.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this kind of behavior with daughter's father. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Replies (31-31):
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:28 PM

Amen to this moma! I totally agree...10,000 that's a bit much to me...

Quoting faerie75:

 i would try to be positive. a lot of women in this group have fathers that simply dont give a shit and skipped out. maybe he loves the kid and wants to be a parent to her?

that said i understand how difficult it is to deal with someone who you dont get along with. have you tried talking to him? since you guys are not getting along it might take awhile but try taking the high road. NOT suggesting you be a doormat at all but compromise where you can. someday soon you will aprreciate some alone time, trust me.

 you are right to take care of this legally but i will add that i think most of the time lawyers like you to be contentious because they get paid more when you are.

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