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Dating standards??

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:23 PM
  • 23 Replies
Hello ladies. When dating what all do you look for in a guy, obviously the first time was a bust. :/ now my standards are a little higher, a bit harsh and demanding and no I'm not a goldigger, but I do however believe that if I can maintain a household/car note and everything else that comes with those things by myself, a man should be able to do it as well right? Like if I have a car/house, man better have a car/house. Plus my relationship with my ex and father of my children, he never did anything I was the one supporting the household even when he was around that's just not how things work I believe it should be equal. I am in the wrong for not wanting to be used like that again? Should I lower my standards a tad bit? Any and all opinions are welcomed. :) God Bless.
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:23 PM
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by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:39 PM

 I'm not a goldigger by far, but my philosophy is, they should either be able to fix things around the house or be able to afford someone else to fix it.  They need to be college education and employed, preferrably no kids.  Own a car and preferrably a house.  My SO fits all of these...but I didn't go looking for him, he kind of fell in my lap.  If for some reason he kicks me to the curb, it will be a long time before I date again..

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Yea he didn't even finish high school, wasn't employed 3/4 (if not more) of the time we were together, no car/ house, nothing. He always talked about what he "wanted" to do and I thought I could help him reach his goals. Started noticing that he didn't do a thing! I'm such an idiot for thinking that and falling for him because he was "nice". Yeah right. And that's why my standards are high now. Not ever again will I be that dumb. :(
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by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:21 PM
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I look for a man who's able to be indpendent and take care of himself. I want to be a mom to my five year old and not my boyfriend. I look for an equal partnership and a man who cares for my child. I think he as to get along well with her and have her best interest at heart. If he's not willing to spend the afternoon doing crafts and driving to dance recitals. I've been lucky enough to find that in my bf, but it took several flukes to find the right guy. And when I did, I just knew it and my daughter immediately fell in love with him and bonded with him.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:23 PM
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I see it the same as you. If a guy wants to date me, he has to have at least what I have. Honest, educated, goals, accomplished something in his life, respect, etc.

I wouldn't date a man living in his mama basement.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:25 PM
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My standards are actually higher now. I lowered them for my ex and look how that turned out.
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by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:36 PM
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Yes I think we've all gone through that "bad relationship" where we dumb ourselves down. what kind of guy mooches off a girl? I was dumb enough to let it happen and now my child has to go through a lot I just want him out of our lives make it easy on everybody. But when it comes to dating I'm traumatized , idk what to believe. I haven't dated since him but I sure do miss having that "someone special" and would like to meet someone.
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by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:39 PM

i want a guy that doesnt cheat.that is careing,funny,sweet and understanding and yes that doesnt act like a 5 year old..i want one that acts his age.

by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 4:52 PM
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I want a man, with little emotional baggage, no really bad habits... Emotionally available. If he can't commit to me, and decide and make a grown up choice to be in a committed relationship, he is not a grown up man with no issues. 

I don't expect him to have everything I have (house car etc) but I do expect him to have steady employment with a dedicated work ethic, and I do expect him to be a provider. I dont mind being a woman, and taking care of the more womanly things like cooking and cleaning as long as I get some help. He should be able to do the more manly things, fix things, repair things etc.

But above all that, I want a man that makes me feel loved and appreciated. My ex never gave me presents or flowers ever, he never even gave me a card, not one bit of love shown in that regard. I don't need much, even a hand written note left on the fridge saying I love you, just because means so much... So I guess I need a man that is romantic a bit.

But truly do don't ever know the real guy until you really get into a serious relationship, and I have a hard time getting past a few dates without finding some red flags. I need someone who is an intellectual as well, so I find it hard to find someone I can talk to. Being single, with a child at 40 limits what is available. Lol.

but everyone should know their boundaries and standards and never lower them... If anything make them higher!

by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 6:34 PM

 its about finding a balance and being flexible but also not compromising your standards.

by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 6:46 PM
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yeah after my failed marriage with my loser x my standards are he must have a decent job Graduated college and can afford to help me to take care of my girls then of course he better be honest and not cheat like my x.

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