Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Relationships...

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:02 AM
  • 17 Replies

Hello there!

I'm curious to see how other moms handle dating. Ive been divorced since Late 2010. My daughters are now 5 and 6. I made the mistake of getting remarried to someone in late 2011 (I say mistake because ,although I was happy and faithful, he was not). SO, that leaves me with divorce number two. I do not bring my girls around guys that I am dating except for this very recent one. However, that did not work out either. He was a divorced single father and my daughters and his daughter ....well, we all moved in together and all of us girls were happy, and dint see the breaking up and moving out of his place happening. 

THis very last one that I spoke of, he feels that he cannot be in a relationship but has to devote his entire being to his daughter. Thats great. But what about the happiness of being with someone, working together, sharing together, blending a family. I love and miss having 'family' so much. Is he choosing the better route in life by not getting back into a relationship until his daughter is out of highschool (like his mother did), am I going about this the wrong way by wanting a relationship with someone? Im at a loss. 

My daughters father is happily with someone and is settling down. Although I am the one who wanted the divorce because of him, I feel like I am being looked at like theres something wrong with me. Why cant I have the happiness of a good relationship... 

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:02 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you are moving too quickly in relationships.  Take more time to get to know someone before marrying or moving in.

moniquek
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I couldn't of said it better myself...I know from experience unfortunately for my 2 kids I had from my 1st husband I had 2 more with my second husband all within a years time and he just simply vanished on us they grew very attatched to him and his son now we are all alone again with a 11month old and a 4day old baby...if I could do it all over again I would've taken way more TIME good luck and whats the rush?

Quoting Ridingsolo:

Sounds like you are moving too quickly in relationships.  Take more time to get to know someone before marrying or moving in.


AllNaturalMum
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:28 AM

I agree with the pp-- it sounds like you're moving super fast through relationships. Slow down and build a foundation with someone before jumping into the serious stuff.

lexsmommaO8
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 1:00 PM

I also agree with the previous posters, it DOES seems like you're moving waaay to fast. Give yourself time to heal from the FIRST marriage. Love yourself, FIRST. Find happiness within yourself & child.

 

From personal experience it took me fourteen months to even think about being in a relationship. Within them months I was an emotional roller coaster. I went back and forth from being lonely to wanting that love and affection from someone else. I also knew I had to find happiness, love, and stay true to myself before I could allow another man. The man i'm with now is actually was at some point my sons father really good friend. I have knew this man for years, & kinda always had a thing for him. We started talking at the end of August & for two weeks we wasn't sure about each other. Finally, he looked at me and told me let's give this try & i'm happy to say .. I'M GLAD I DID. The last four months of my life have been amazing with this man. I no longer have to worry about being used for a piece of ass, been cheated on, lied too .. etc. I'm treated with the respect both my children and I deserve. This doesn't mean I have totally let my guard down, but i'm happy. I took the time to find myself again, & to also realize what I deserved.  

brieri
by Platinum Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:37 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Possibility it may not be your turn just yet.  Look for happiness within your ownself  before landing a man in your life.  Don't be so dependent on them. 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Welcome!!! I agree

Quoting Ridingsolo:

Sounds like you are moving too quickly in relationships.  Take more time to get to know someone before marrying or moving in.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KRIZZ25
Report
I HATE BEING ALONE..EVERY ONE HAD A SOME BODY.I HAVE A NO BODY .
Yesterday at 7:47 PM
by Platinum Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:32 PM
it will come to a point were he will wont someone in his life.that long time to go wth out..
easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 6:38 PM

Hugs

Cerissa79
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 8:37 AM
Thanks ladies.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:54 PM

i agree that you need to slow down and focus on yourself for a while.

that being said-- i think my ex boyfriend's dad looked down at me for a while. he was raised by a single mom, she never had a male visitor, never even had a guy come to the door. he just learned the last few years that his mom went out on dates! she's been single since she had him 40+ years ago. is still single, prob will always be single... but here i was; a child with a boyfriend! well, now ex boyfriend. blah.

devote yourself to your girls, devote yourself to yourself. in time, the right man will come along

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)