I came on tonight to make a post and hopefuly get some friendly advice from women that are already doing what I'm getting ready to do...become a single parent. But I see tonight I'm not the only one feeling a little down and out.
I've been told sense I was 16 years old I would probably never have children, but here I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my first and last baby. I've done pretty well emotionally through the whole thing, but recently I feel myself going into a full panic. BD and I have decent communication and support even though we are not together and live far away from each other.
I was fired from my job in the first trimester and have struggled financially, that's probably where most of the panic comes from. I have been successful in my career, and know I will be again, just in different ways.
I live with my best friend her husband and 5 month old baby boy, they are pretty much my only support system. When I told my mother I was pregnant she promptly reminded me of something she told me when I was 15 years old "If you get pregnant don't ever come home" well its one thing when your 15 but another when I realize I will be 30 just a few weeks after she is born. My baby girl is a miracle in ever aspect of the word, and I'm sad she won't ever know any of my family. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my friends standing by me.
I'm afraid that I will be as bad a parent as my mother was. I just pray that I will not allow selfishness, anger and panic to take over the love and compassion in my soul.
I really want all the other moms that have posted today feeling blue, that I'm sorry you have to go through everything by yourself, just remember that we are strong and very capable. I send you all my love, positive thoughts, and what little strength that I can. Bring on the New Year and the power to do what we need to support the ones we love the most.