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If someone lives with their child's father but is unmarried and decides to leave how do you go about establishing custody?
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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Replies (11-20):
MommyTo5Boys
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:15 PM

 Then as far as the law is concerned they as of now have joint equal custody. She needs to go to court and file for Custody, there is no way around it. If she doesn't and she leaves him he can pick up the child at any time and leave with her and mom won't get to see her again until their court date if that's what dad does.

Quoting Kat31:

He is on the bc and signed a paternity acknowledgment.


Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

 Go to court and file for custody. You do not need a lawyer for this, and family court is free.


 If mom and dad were never married and bio dad is not on the BC or never signed an acknowledgement of paternity then Mom has full custody until dad files for custody in court.


 


 

Kat31
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Ya, that's what I figured.


Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

 Then as far as the law is concerned they as of now have joint equal custody. She needs to go to court and file for Custody, there is no way around it. If she doesn't and she leaves him he can pick up the child at any time and leave with her and mom won't get to see her again until their court date if that's what dad does.


Quoting Kat31:

He is on the bc and signed a paternity acknowledgment.



Quoting MommyTo5Boys:


 Go to court and file for custody. You do not need a lawyer for this, and family court is free.



 If mom and dad were never married and bio dad is not on the BC or never signed an acknowledgement of paternity then Mom has full custody until dad files for custody in court.



 



 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:31 PM

 Whether or not he has any sort of custody based on signing an AOP is dependent on state. 

If he's signed an AOP, is there a specific reason she is wanting a custody order established.  There are usually a variety of ways to go about this, different options are better or worse depending on the situation, what they need, and where they live. 

In my state, without a CO, once Dad has signed an AOP he and Mom have equal rights.  You cannot file for CS if you're living together, but then again, if you're living together you don't really need a CO. You can easily establish a CO through the CS office (for free) if you file for CS once you aren't living together. 

In other states though, Mom does have sole custody unless dad files for it even if he has acknowledged paternity. 

Kat31
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:42 PM
She is planning on leaving their household because of personal issues (infidelity) but wants to save some money first. How do you know which states mom has sole custody with or without a aop? I tried looking it up but can't find anything. She will probably have to talk to the county clerk or an attorney.



Quoting DDDaysh:

 Whether or not he has any sort of custody based on signing an AOP is dependent on state. 



If he's signed an AOP, is there a specific reason she is wanting a custody order established.  There are usually a variety of ways to go about this, different options are better or worse depending on the situation, what they need, and where they live. 



In my state, without a CO, once Dad has signed an AOP he and Mom have equal rights.  You cannot file for CS if you're living together, but then again, if you're living together you don't really need a CO. You can easily establish a CO through the CS office (for free) if you file for CS once you aren't living together. 



In other states though, Mom does have sole custody unless dad files for it even if he has acknowledged paternity. 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:45 PM

 You google your states laws.  Your phrasing matters alot.  It might be best to look for things like "paternity establishment" and "unwed father's rights" rather than those based on the mother.  Also, I like to add ".gov" to the end of my searches to filter out the junk as the ".gov" tag generally will take me to official sites.  It also helps if you have a good eye for reading through family law statutes. 

If you PM me the state, I'll try to send you some links to what I find. 

Knowing whether she has automatic custody is important before she leaves.  She's being smart for having an "exit plan" rather than leaving in a fit of temper, particularly if this is a fidelity issue not an abuse issue.  Starting out on the right foot can avoid so many potential future problems. 

Tetiry92
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Technically if she leaves him she is custodial parent until he drags her to court
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AmbitiousMomma
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:58 PM


Quoting Kat31:

If someone lives with their child's father but is unmarried and decides to leave how do you go about establishing custody?

You go to your local family court. Each state has different rules and laws regarding child custody. Good luck to you :)

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:38 PM

Has paternity been established?  Is he on the birth certificate?

If NOT, then she automatically has custody, yes, if she is single and unwed.

brieri
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:44 PM

 Family court is free?  The paperwork is what costs you to file.  Find out what that fee is.

Mom or dad doesn't have to be on the B/C, but if mom or dad has child and applies for some type of assistance - welfare, food stamps, etc, then they may request to know who the mom or dad is and they will go after the parent for payment.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

 Go to court and file for custody. You do not need a lawyer for this, and family court is free.

 If mom and dad were never married and bio dad is not on the BC or never signed an acknowledgement of paternity then Mom has full custody until dad files for custody in court.

 

 

MommyTo5Boys
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:29 PM

 I have never known of any family court to charge any sort of fees filing or otherwise.

 Yes social services will go after the other parent for payment if a parent applies and lists the other parent on the application, but even if welfare does go after the other parent for reimbursement that in no way gives that parent any sort of custody or rights regarding that child.

Quoting brieri:

 Family court is free?  The paperwork is what costs you to file.  Find out what that fee is.

Mom or dad doesn't have to be on the B/C, but if mom or dad has child and applies for some type of assistance - welfare, food stamps, etc, then they may request to know who the mom or dad is and they will go after the parent for payment.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

 Go to court and file for custody. You do not need a lawyer for this, and family court is free.

 If mom and dad were never married and bio dad is not on the BC or never signed an acknowledgement of paternity then Mom has full custody until dad files for custody in court.

 

 

 

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