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Save or Toss

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:31 AM
  • 26 Replies

So, my son is 7 months old and his father has decided with certainty he is not going to be involved.  At all.  He is moving out of state soon as well.  I'm fine with that and respect his decision.  Not everyone is cut out to be a dad or wants to be.

Back when my son was 4 months old, we had a trial period as a "family".  I have a few pictures I took at that time of my son and his father (sperm donor I guess).

After he made his decision that this wasn't for him, I moved on and threw away all the items I had saved from our relationship and basically got rid of all the reminders of him.  I'm finally over it.

I'm just not sure about these four pictures.  Should I save them?  Or delete them? 

What would you do? 

Just curious what everyone else would do in this situation. 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:35 AM
2 moms liked this

I would save them.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I would save them. I got rod of some in my divorce, bit still have lots on photo bucket.
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bbyblueAK
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Keep them for your son
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January1964
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:17 AM
1 mom liked this

Save them for your son.

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:19 AM


Quoting January1964:

Save them for your son.


That is where I'm conflicted.

The photos make it look like his father actually cared and enjoyed being around my son.  I'm afraid showing them to him when he gets older will make him more confused. 

 

 

January1964
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:21 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Ridingsolo:

 

Quoting January1964:

Save them for your son.


That is where I'm conflicted.

The photos make it look like his father actually cared and enjoyed being around my son.  I'm afraid showing them to him when he gets older will make him more confused. 

 

 

Save them for when he asks about his father. Or, for when you feel he's old enough to understand better. He will be curious to see what his dad looked like. If you throw them out, you have no chance to show your son.

triggersmom27
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:27 AM
1 mom liked this

 i'd save them just so at some point you do have something to show ds if he asks one day down the road about him.

LauraMH
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 12:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree that you should save them. Your son will most likely want to see who is father was at son point in his life. Just bc the pictures show that he "looks" like a good father, you will still be able to talk to your son about it when he asks. I think you would regret it if you got rid of them.

GoldenLinds
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:07 PM
3 moms liked this
Save them. One day he will need to know that even if he didn't want to be a father he didn't hate him and those pictures will go a long way in healing him. It's complicated and the fact that you preserved thIs for him will make a huge impact. Even if you never share them with your son you won't have to regret not being able to offer them to him.
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Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting GoldenLinds:

Save them. One day he will need to know that even if he didn't want to be a father he didn't hate him and those pictures will go a long way in healing him. It's complicated and the fact that you preserved thIs for him will make a huge impact. Even if you never share them with your son you won't have to regret not being able to offer them to him.


Thanks, that's a very good point that I hadn't thought of - it will be great to show ds that his father didn't have anything against him personally.  Didn't even think of that.  The pictures will show someone who cared in some capacity, so maybe that is a good thing. 

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