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So, my son is 7 months old and his father has decided with certainty he is not going to be involved.  At all.  He is moving out of state soon as well.  I'm fine with that and respect his decision.  Not everyone is cut out to be a dad or wants to be.

Back when my son was 4 months old, we had a trial period as a "family".  I have a few pictures I took at that time of my son and his father (sperm donor I guess).

After he made his decision that this wasn't for him, I moved on and threw away all the items I had saved from our relationship and basically got rid of all the reminders of him.  I'm finally over it.

I'm just not sure about these four pictures.  Should I save them?  Or delete them? 

What would you do? 

Just curious what everyone else would do in this situation. 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:31 AM
Replies (11-20):
Robsessed98
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:46 PM
Absolutely keep them. The time will come when the child wants to know about him and the pics will probably be important to him. Its a shame you threw away everything of his.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

You can for your son if you would like.  I don't have any of my son and his father

Tish_Hughes
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd save them.
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Nena70
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Save them for your son

FrauPineapple
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I would save them becuase I'm sure one day, your son is going to want to know what his dad looks like.

GoldenLinds
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this
My dad didn't havecontact with his father until he was 40 and he didn't even realize how hurt hed been until then. His father had an envelope of photos of him growing up (from his mom) and it made a huge impression on him. Glad I could help.

Quoting Ridingsolo:



Quoting GoldenLinds:

Save them. One day he will need to know that even if he didn't want to be a father he didn't hate him and those pictures will go a long way in healing him. It's complicated and the fact that you preserved thIs for him will make a huge impact. Even if you never share them with your son you won't have to regret not being able to offer them to him.


Thanks, that's a very good point that I hadn't thought of - it will be great to show ds that his father didn't have anything against him personally.  Didn't even think of that.  The pictures will show someone who cared in some capacity, so maybe that is a good thing. 

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MaddieLainesMom
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I would save them for the day your son asks about his dad. If nothing else being able to see these pictures will be comforting. It should your son's decision at that point if he wants to keep them or not. 

koalasami
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:32 AM
1 mom liked this

I am an adoptive mom so we go through this type of stuff a lot.  My sons have had no contact with their bio parents since birth.  But I printed off pictures I had of their from online just so they could see what she looked like later in life.  Even though he may never have a relationship with him (and from experience that could change - he is still very young) he is a part of this man and he will need to find a way to cope with the "loss" of his parent as he gets older.  There are certain times in life (adolescence, moving from home, starting their own family) that children tend to feel this loss more than others and they try to find a way to feel closer to their bio parents.  He may go through this and want "something" to connect himself with his father.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I would save them in case your child ever wants to see them when he's older.  Just tuck them away in an envelope/box.  good luck!

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:40 PM


Quoting Robsessed98:

Absolutely keep them. The time will come when the child wants to know about him and the pics will probably be important to him. Its a shame you threw away everything of his.

I threw away all the crap from the relationship between his father and me...a motorcycle helmet he gave me for his bike, some old albums, etc.  I don't think those would be good to keep around.  The relationship was based on his lies, so I didn't need those mementos. 

I will keep the pictures though.  That is a good idea to save those.

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