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if only murder was legal...

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:55 PM
  • 38 Replies
Or even being able to make sure he was no longer able to have kids..and very painfully make sure.

My son's dad seriously doesn't know how to get or stay on my good side. DS turned 2 in September and his biodad has supervised visitation. He's only ever asked for a visit once, I sent him an email with stipulations of said visit - cannot smell like smoke as DS is not to be around it..he had rsv bad and has asthma, don't bombard him right away, give him a chance to warm up bad get to know him, he will not bring anything for DS to eat or drink..my mom will have that with her, my mom will change any diapers that need to be changed, no one else is to be with him..common sense stuff.. DS was just over a year old at that point, I sent dates visits would work and he never got back to me. Since then he has not made any attempt for a visit. In over a year I have only received one CS payment..a whopping 30 bucks!! He apparently made a claim to try to get disability...which I know he won't get, he's capable of working but is lazy and finds every excuse not to.

Recently his sister has been messaging me on facebook, just simple conversation bs..how are we, happy holidays, etc. She claimed she never talked to my son's dad anymore and doesn't have anything to do with him...well, I've kept an eye on her fb just incase - her profile is wide open to view, nothing is set to private. Found out he's now living across the street from her with his oldest son....and then found out he just had ANOTHER baby.. I believe this is number 6..maybe 7 or 8, I can't keep track anymore. So, somehow he moved out of his mom's, to a new town, somehow paying bills to have his own place...yet, I'm not getting any payments. He's over 4700 behind in cs and pushing 6k behind in child care... He doesn't call to tell DS happy birthday, nothing at Christmas, no calls or texts to see how DS is doing...nothing..

I'm planning to call him tonight after DS is in bed and find out what's going on with his disability bs and child support payments. Usually I don't care, but I'm in school fulltime now and over 2 yrs of doing everything alone, I'm absolutely freaking exhausted. Plus I JUST bought DS new clothes like 4 months ago and he's already outgrowing all of his shirts and pajamas..I need him to step up and start at least doing something in terms of child support finally.
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by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mocking.Jay
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry to hear that. My ex is quite the dick as well lmao. He doesn't call my son to wish him a happy bday or merry christmas. In fact, the only person who contacted me for Christmas was his mother. His fucking mother. -__- But when we talk I don't bring him up and neither does she, so, she's coo. :)

victoriangavin
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this

honestly if i were in that position i would take it to the District Attorny... calling would only allert him to you being able to see everthing on fb and from experience you being able to see everything is a valuable tool. clearly he doesn't care and talking to him probably won't work. take him to court

mz23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:05 AM
He needs to be castrated : l my ex is just full of bull and is a compulsive liar, I swear.some of These men are just a shame.
singlemama0905
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:28 AM
They won't do anything I gave up trying to get the state to do a damn thing..as long as he wants to keep appealing denials to receive disability they refuse to persue aanything. Even before that though I used to call cse consistently to get them to do something..he's just way too good at his damn games. Find a job, dint report it til right at the 6 week deadline and only work enough to have a couple bucks come outta the paycheck before he quits...effort in the state's eyes. I have to find the money to hire a private attorney...and the judge I have to go through refuses to put any portion of attorney and court fees on the other person because *I* would be making the choice to go to court knowing my ex he'd try time drag it out and I'd still prolly see nothing.

Quoting victoriangavin:

honestly if i were in that position i would take it to the District Attorny... calling would only allert him to you being able to see everthing on fb and from experience you being able to see everything is a valuable tool. clearly he doesn't care and talking to him probably won't work. take him to court

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Musiq_Junkie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:43 AM

Idk what state u live in, but does ur human resources have a program for full time students who have dependents (i think its called the education works program here) u get a monthly stipend for going to school bascially...kinda like an alternative to TANF & usually when the state sees ur enrolled in that program, they maybe more readily to take him to court...something I just found out myself...

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

singlemama0905
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:46 AM
I'm considered "overincome" for everything because of my assets. I have a trust fund set up and even though I can't just jump into it at any given time, it's considered an asset and keeps me from getting anything.. my Pell grant and my son's Medicaid is it.. but I haven't heard of that..I'll have to see if we have anything like that and if they have the same income guidelines.

Quoting Musiq_Junkie:

Idk what state u live in, but does ur human resources have a program for full time students who have dependents (i think its called the education works program here) u get a monthly stipend for going to school bascially...kinda like an alternative to TANF & usually when the state sees ur enrolled in that program, they maybe more readily to take him to court...something I just found out myself...

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victoriangavin
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:06 AM
Wow the laws in your state seen like they're to help the men... I'm sorry you've tried and nothing is working.... Good luck and I hope something happens!


Quoting singlemama0905:

They won't do anything I gave up trying to get the state to do a damn thing..as long as he wants to keep appealing denials to receive disability they refuse to persue aanything. Even before that though I used to call cse consistently to get them to do something..he's just way too good at his damn games. Find a job, dint report it til right at the 6 week deadline and only work enough to have a couple bucks come outta the paycheck before he quits...effort in the state's eyes. I have to find the money to hire a private attorney...and the judge I have to go through refuses to put any portion of attorney and court fees on the other person because *I* would be making the choice to go to court knowing my ex he'd try time drag it out and I'd still prolly see nothing.



Quoting victoriangavin:

honestly if i were in that position i would take it to the District Attorny... calling would only allert him to you being able to see everthing on fb and from experience you being able to see everything is a valuable tool. clearly he doesn't care and talking to him probably won't work. take him to court


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singlemama0905
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:35 AM
By stats my state ranks in the top with child support enforcement...but it's only enforced for guys that will work without the state hassling them. The laws are in place as far as how far behind and doing jail time and such, they just don't take the time to enforce it at all. It's like the guys know that as long as they dont hold a job it's easy to play the system.

Quoting victoriangavin:

Wow the laws in your state seen like they're to help the men... I'm sorry you've tried and nothing is working.... Good luck and I hope something happens!




Quoting singlemama0905:

They won't do anything I gave up trying to get the state to do a damn thing..as long as he wants to keep appealing denials to receive disability they refuse to persue aanything. Even before that though I used to call cse consistently to get them to do something..he's just way too good at his damn games. Find a job, dint report it til right at the 6 week deadline and only work enough to have a couple bucks come outta the paycheck before he quits...effort in the state's eyes. I have to find the money to hire a private attorney...and the judge I have to go through refuses to put any portion of attorney and court fees on the other person because *I* would be making the choice to go to court knowing my ex he'd try time drag it out and I'd still prolly see nothing.





Quoting victoriangavin:

honestly if i were in that position i would take it to the District Attorny... calling would only allert him to you being able to see everthing on fb and from experience you being able to see everything is a valuable tool. clearly he doesn't care and talking to him probably won't work. take him to court


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easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Hugs!!

Kid_Cat_Mom2005
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:13 PM
That's frustrating. My ex Does get disability (SSI and ssdi) my son gets $128 a month that is taken out of my exs disability payments. My son is his only child though, so if your ex gets approved for disability, your child can get something. Just a thought.
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