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i'm officially an idiot

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:20 PM
  • 17 Replies

 bd started laying on the charm for a while, a couple of months.  he would call every morning and call me beautiful and ask me how i was doing and made it seem he was interested in what was going on with me.  he gave me a realy nice christmas gift and spent most of the day with me and our kids at my place.  he's been really sweet and very understanding.  well, once again...i fell for it.  he started back up with his stupid shit.  yesterday i invited him over just to hang out and watch some tv or a movie, he said "that sounds great, i'm running an errand right now and i'll call you when i'm done to head over."  well i guess he's still running his errand cuz i have yet to hear from him. 

i'm just so irritated and so pissed off at myslef from letting this happen and getting myself all excited that things were actually gonna take a turn for the better.  i thought for sure things were better, it had been more than 2 months of his lovey dovey crap and now this! 

I'M OFFICIALLY AN IDIOT.  ugh! UGH!  i just want to scream and cry from where i'm so mad at myself! 

*i think i could easily throw a fit like a 2yr old lol.

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by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyecr3
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Sweetie, there is absolutely no need to bang your fist on your head. You're NOT stupid. You gave someone another chance and HE is the idiot. Simply accept the attempt at giving one more try and do your best to think about yourself as not a closed minded person willing to forgive people. Not everyone can or will do so. Obviously, don't accept any more calls/visits from him except that first one. The one where he tries to give you an excuse and apology and you very VERY CALMLY AND MATURELY let him know that you are not interested in him or his inability to keep promises, etc, and that you are done with the relationship. NO EXCEPTIONS, NO MORE CONTACT, NO MORE LISTENING TO HIS SWEET-TALKING, right? You have to. okay?

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:11 PM

 Don't call your own bluff.  Try to relax, do a little cleaning or maybe go for a walk and clear your head.  This will pass soon.

Lunarprancer
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:16 PM
2 moms liked this

 Ugh.  When he calls, tell him to suck it.

Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:19 PM
I know exactly how youre feeling! My ex boyfriend came over christmsas eve suckered me in seemed so sincere. All hes done since is drive by my house music loud and he doesnt live out here no more. Making it obvious hes going to see someone else. I feel like a damned fool today. At least i noticed a pattern to his behaviour. He drove by this morning when i was taking out trash. I shouted why the bleep you driving by my house?!?! Shouldve seen his face! I blocked my driveway off with my truck. No more him coming by whenever. And to mess up christmas! Sheesh he already knew i was worried sick bought needibg a job...my home etc
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victoriahearts
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:43 PM

Your not an idot for wanting to have your "happy/complete family", but now you know that it's best to refocus yourself to just making sure he makes the relationship with his children work rather then a relationship with you. I'm sorry that he begin like a yo-yo but sometimes men are like that , just do your best to move on this time and ensure that your ex knows enough is enough. 

arimaur
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:56 PM

 i will.  thanks for your kind words.

Quoting mommyecr3:

Sweetie, there is absolutely no need to bang your fist on your head. You're NOT stupid. You gave someone another chance and HE is the idiot. Simply accept the attempt at giving one more try and do your best to think about yourself as not a closed minded person willing to forgive people. Not everyone can or will do so. Obviously, don't accept any more calls/visits from him except that first one. The one where he tries to give you an excuse and apology and you very VERY CALMLY AND MATURELY let him know that you are not interested in him or his inability to keep promises, etc, and that you are done with the relationship. NO EXCEPTIONS, NO MORE CONTACT, NO MORE LISTENING TO HIS SWEET-TALKING, right? You have to. okay?

 

Robsessed98
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:00 PM

I would wait and hear his explanation before going off the deep end. It's possible that something happened and he wasn't able to call. Not saying that's probably what happened, because it apparantly has happened in the past, just saying you might wanna find out before blowing him off again...

sucker4myloves
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Sounds like you could be me from two years ago, except it wasn't my son's father, just an ex boyfriend. So good at sweet talking, so charming and handsome and sweet, and then flip it the next day. I know how hard it is to stay away from the flame, but you're no moth and you know better this time. He's gonna do it again, he's gonna redouble his efforts and lay it on thicker and be oh-so-perfect. Try to be strong and remember that he's full of shit up to his eyeballs. It's not fair to you to keep wasting time on a loser. Focus on your beautiful babies and raise your standards. I finally did, and now I'm married to the man of my dreams, he's amazing. You deserve it :)

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lucasmadre
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:16 PM
3 moms liked this

Honey lamb, you are not the idiot- he is.

It is OK to be a trusting, open person. It is alright to want things to work out with your children's father...it is human. What you have to decide is how many chances does he get? 10, 20, 30....you get the idea. Set a number, was this his last chance?

I waited for four years for my idiot to see the light and in the end he chose to be a dead beat over being a man. That is his choice and he has to live with it but I refuse to feel bad about myself because he is an asshole. Yes, I picked him and hopefully I learned something from that but love is a hard thing to turn off. Don't beat yourself up just think of it as a learning experience.

Open your eyes, wide open and see him for the man he is...not the man you hope he will become or the man you thought he was or the man you want him to be. What kind of man drops the ball like that on the mother of his children? What kind of man let's a good woman get away from him? What kind of man walks away from his kids? 

I know it hurts your heart and your pride and your self respect but you didn't do anything wrong except hold out hope that your man would make a change... xo


steviechick
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:24 PM

Ditto to what Lucasmadre said.  I'll add this....we all learn from our mistakes.  I have learned from mine.  That hardest part now is moving on.  BUT, you will. 

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