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Im lonely but don't want to make the wrong decission on a companion. Why?

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 3:09 AM
  • 10 Replies

I am a single mom, and recently I have been feeling really lonely. Like to the point that it makes me cry. Dating is a major hassle, and I always seem to find the wrong guys. What should I do, I can't be alone forever and at the same time, I am not desperate for just anyone.

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 3:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 5:01 AM
Wow. Ive been thinking same thoughts lately. Ive been doing some serious evaluating on the guys ive chosen. Ive only had two men in my life in a long time. I can afford to be chosey. We all can. It make take time. I think where we make mistakes choosing a companion is being too hastey in loneliness. The wrong men are attracted when you seem desperate. When youre confident and got your life together the right men are attracted. Ive evaluated myself lately too. Ive always been attracted to the humorous fun guys and scared of intelligent career men. Why? I think because i've got control issue. Perhaps its time to step out of that pattern. Thats why i wound up with another ''child'' instead of a man
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KRIZZ25
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dam ppl...
Yesterday at 6:09 AM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:43 AM
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get a dog or cat or do something.no man will fulfill ur needs . u have to find enter fulfillment.
alc4evermom
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:48 AM
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I felt that for years. I was like that as a late teen and in my early twenties and for ten years I dated horrible people. I broke up with an abusive guy in march and I'll tell you what worked for me. You still need to be careful though cause this can attract the wrong guy but you'll have a better head. I started tanning (I'm white haha!!!) and hit the gym like crazy at the YMCA--- got involved in fitness classes, and volunteered at the homeless shelter and enrolled at the community college part time. I said to myself I'm alone but this is great. The right one came along and I was at a point where he was admiring me for being in control of myself and being confident. I don't know why I used to get involved with the wrong guys-- years of abuse becomes a cycle. Good luck!!! Use your services. The YMCA has a sliding scale and student memberships and very cheap daycare hours.
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MomTiara19
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:57 AM

You have such a beauitiful smile and seem like you have such a sweet personality!Appreciate your strength as a single woman and mom.I was a single mom too.....feeling the same way when I met the love of my life....still happily married after 14 years.

Make sure you get involved in things and hobbies you enjoy....you could meet your mr right in this way.

Although I met my dh in a random way.I was helping a friend with her craft store at a busy touristy area.

My husbands mom loved handmade items at my friends store and happened to be buying something for his mom one of the days I was helping my friend.My friend new him casually as a customer...and now I know him personally as my husband...lol..

Keep your chin up,eyes open,standards high,and your heart open....mr right could be right around the corner!

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:51 AM
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I felt like that for awhile and honestly, that is the worst time to try find a boyfriend. I made bad decisions while being lonely, but doing once I was confident and knew I could make it no matter what, a good hit came a long and we are so happy and talking the future.
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owl0210
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:34 AM

This right here. 

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I felt like that for awhile and honestly, that is the worst time to try find a boyfriend. I made bad decisions while being lonely, but doing once I was confident and knew I could make it no matter what, a good hit came a long and we are so happy and talking the future.

 

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:10 AM

I will give you the same advice I just give someone else, you are lonely you are entitled to feel that way, but are you fully over your last relationship? Are you sure you are ready to date 100%? If you aren't then you aren't going to find the "right" guy, you need to workout your feelings, take care of yourself before you can start to date. You said dating is a hassle and that is usually the first sign you aren't ready to date. Try focusing on yourself, making yourself feel better about your life in general, once your attitude has changed you may start to feel like dating isn't a hassle and you will attract the right type of guy. Feeling lonely sucks but what sucks more is getting involved with the wrong guy that you end up wasting your time with.

deltathree
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Quietness is the surest sign that you've died. Your old life was a frantic running from silence. Rumi
Yesterday at 12:52 PM
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM

lonliness sucks - but so does all the jerks out there.  Go out with friends, get a pet, hobby,etc.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:45 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Enjoy the wide open space out there.  Join some groups and have fun.

jenn31
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Read this book: Temptation of a single girl. Atwood. It really help me put things in perspective 

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