well my advice is this
rule one ONLY communicate thru email. if you're worried that you might say and or do something wrong that might not look good in court then get everything done thru email so that you have your butt covered incase he might try to make up lies (that's what my ex tried to do, but I have all emails to prove him wrong)
second if he was to come see DD that's fine. but it doesn't need to be done when she is sleeping. Make a schedule for DD, tell him what it is. if he cant fit in it on the days he's working then tell him he can come see her on his days off. again, state all of this thru email. even if he wanted to try and say you don't allow him enough time with DD you can state that DD needs a schedule and consistancy and that you said it's ok for him to come on his days off.
dont let him bully you. if it doesn't work for DD then tell him so and give another option. again, do everything thru emails.
also I would go buy a small calandar and use it to record days that BD sees DD and times. Also record everytime you see BD and or communicate thru emails. I did that and boy did it work wonders when we went to court! after filing to go to court it took over a year, so I had a year worth of emails, and my clanadar filled out. lets just say that since I was so organized the judge believed me over the ex.
good luck mama!
If you have a lawyer Id suggest that you file for emergency custody and talk to your lawyer about the abuse you have gone through and see if you can get a protection order to protect yourself and your child. If he is doing this its more about power then seeing the child. It will only get worse if you don't put your foot down. If the child is sleeping then tell him he can see the child when they are awake. Keep a log as detailed as possible about what he says when he says it and what he does. Write down times too. If he calls to see the child at 8pm and the childs asleep write down 8pm baby asleep, but hes demanding visitation. Keep this log so you can show a pattern of everything. Keep all texts and voicemails if you can. Bring up any concern to the court and if you have other people who have seen him react to you badly or threaten you or even themselves have them go with you as well. Good luck these situations are never the easiest, but stand strong and do what you need to for yourself and your child.
Also have someone present at the visits if you can so if any problems arise you have a witness.
When you go to court you can also have your lawyer do a ciest and desist order on his mom so she can't speak to you during visits. This can protect you and your child from the negativity that comes with insults or other issues that can come up because she cannot be respectful. Just make sure you watch anything you say to her. If possible don't speak to her unless you have too. She is there because you allow her to be there, so if she cannot show respect you can take away the privliage.
Welcome to the group. Don't let him bully you - co-parenting is a 2 way street. Tell him you're not comfortable with him coming at bedtime and that he can see/have the baby on his days off or during the day. Don't deny him access to her though because it will look bad in court. Keep records of everything that happens - every time he's there or if he doesn't show up, abuse, anything. If his end is holding up the divorce, have your attorney file a motion to compel and make him get his ass in gear.
Quoting mhaman4:When you go to court you can also have your lawyer do a ciest and desist order on his mom so she can't speak to you during visits. This can protect you and your child from the negativity that comes with insults or other issues that can come up because she cannot be respectful. Just make sure you watch anything you say to her. If possible don't speak to her unless you have too. She is there because you allow her to be there, so if she cannot show respect you can take away the privliage.
until a custody agreement is in place, and bcause he's gone off the deep end it seems.. I would only allow him to come and see DD on the days he has off.. for a limited amount of time, supervised. Whomever has physical custody of the child at this point (or whomever has her at their house) is considered the custodial parent until the courts become involved. If he were to say, take her and refuse to give her back until court, he can legally do so. Send him a time table of when you are both available.. and TRY to make sure somebody else is present when he is over as well!
Quoting jessi2girls:until a custody agreement is in place, and bcause he's gone off the deep end it seems.. I would only allow him to come and see DD on the days he has off.. for a limited amount of time, supervised. Whomever has physical custody of the child at this point (or whomever has her at their house) is considered the custodial parent until the courts become involved. If he were to say, take her and refuse to give her back until court, he can legally do so. Send him a time table of when you are both available.. and TRY to make sure somebody else is present when he is over as well!
My daughter doesn't like my boyfriend.
- MissKittyPurry
on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:49 PM