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why do dads do what they do

Posted by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:42 PM
  • 7 Replies
My ex is the father of my children. Just the other day my son got mad at his dad because he didn't show up. My son said that daddy hates us. that was problem one. Problem two is their dad is choosing a women that he don't like over his children. What do I do?
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:42 PM
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beccap36120
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM
4 moms liked this

That title is like the question of life isn't it? I don't think we ever get an answer to questions of why other people really do what they do. What I've decided recently is that the only person I can control is me, and while other people(dads, etc) can really hurt our children and it makes us angry and hurt, the truth is there isn't a damn thing we cna do about it other than reassure our kids that we love them and focus on positives. I know you're upset about daddy not making it today, but mommy loves you very much forever no matter what, how about we go to park/play play doh/wach fav movie...i know it's not the answer you're looking for, but it's my new philosophy-strangely it's one of the only things I took away from therapy years ago but NEVER put into action at all til now "The only thing you can control in life are your own actions and your reactions to others". funny how things like that stick with you year later that you didn't even know were in your mind, lol.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:53 AM
You can't do anything other than listen let your kids know you love them and maybe some counseling for your kids
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Luv.My.Kidz
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:57 AM

you can't do anything other than take care of your children. Plan other things when your kids father doesn't show up, take them somewhere and do something. My oldest used to fall asleep on the landing step waiting for his sperm donor to come pick him up because he refused to move. I had to allow him to fall asleep then move him to his bed otherwise it was like world war 3 moving him from that landing step. After the 10th time of him doing that he learned that his sperm donor wasn't coming and we started doing other things and he just started forgetting that Fridays were the day his sperm donor was supposed to pick him up.

camommy08
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this

there really isnt much you can do. Just tell your kids that daddy doesnt hate them.

my ex is with a girl I wonder if he really likes her as well or just stuck cause e has one kid with her and she pregnant again. I think they are think with the wrong head

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:07 AM
2 moms liked this

Well a lot of "dad's" never really wanted the kids in the first place, from what I've seen.  The child was either an accident, and/or the "dad" just agreed to the baby in the first place because the woman wanted it. 

Thus, relationship breaks up, the man has no interest.  Sad but reality.

As for me, my ex wanted me to have an abortion, then he pleaded I put my son up for adoption...now my ex is not around at all and it's better that way, because he clearly didn't care.

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

What can you do about your son/children or do about your ex? 

If it's about your son/children there not much you can do to shelter them from an absent dad, just ackwonledge how there feeling and tell them you understand why there mad and ask them what you can do to make them feel better. Eventually as they get older they will realize what their dad is doing and hopefully they will appreciate you more as a parent.

As for what you can do with your ex, there not much you can do, he is an adult and as much as you would like him to make good decision he probably wont. I would suggest speaking to him but you probably wont get anywhere with him unless you have a good relationship with him and he takes your advice seriously.

rwylie
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Thanks guys. My children dad isn't a sperm donner. He is with his kids every weekend and comes up once a week and stays. The main problem is that he wants to break out off with the girl but I don't know why he don't
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