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need advice, anyone else go through this?

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:06 AM
  • 13 Replies
my 3yo son is starting to ask to be with his father and his fathers gf when he's with me. he also says he doesn't like me, in not his friend, etc. it breaks my heart. his father currently has visitation thurs-sun every other. i found out he doesn't even take him to daycare on the Fridays and brings him in Monday extremely late or not at all. so he's got all this time with his father and I'm the one getting screwed because i work full time. his father is barely employed. It seems that the hard working mothers get the short end while dead beat dads get more. What should i do??? I feel hopeless.
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by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Debby29681
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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Disney Dad. Dad probably does all fun things, and then back to mom for real life. My boys were very young when we divorced. He didn't want them so I didn't think about the future. Now he wants them more and it's awful!!!! Make sure that you protect you and your baby now frOm anything that may happen in the future. My ex has a girlfriend now and I think she wants a family(my boys). I'm in a custody battle three years after divorce. Your baby does not hate you. He is comfortable with you and loves you. Believe me it doesn't take long for kids to see who loves and cares for them.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Because he gets to do all the fun stuff. Tell your son it's great he has such a good time with dad and when he will get to see him again. In time he will get it
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ame4c
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 3:55 PM
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How is he a dead beat if he is staying home taking care of the child?  We don't fault woman for staying home with the kids, why should it be any different for a man?

Your ex isn't a dead beat.  You need to be the adult and realize your kid is saying these things just because he is having a good time at dads.  You should be happy his dad is taking an interest.  You might swallow your pride and see if dad can save you day care cost since he's not working.  If you can get along and support each other, even though you are no longer together, your child will benefit far more and be happier.

Trust me as your child get's older he's gonna say way worse to you than that.  I have teens and I've heard it all.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 5:51 PM

 You are absolutely right.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 6:36 PM
A dead beat dad is not involved. Your kids dad doesn't sound like one. I do understand your frustration though.

On your weekends, carve out some time and budget for qt with your kid. And try not to worry. He probably wants his dad cuz he sees him less.
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firsttime_mom27
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:04 AM
he's a dead beat because he never did want to work and didn't want to pay child support. you don't know the extent of the situation. he never cared to be responsible for our son financially when we were together. grandma (his mom) pays for his rent, lawyer, etc. I'm the only person trying to support my son independently without my mother and fathers' help (they couldn't afford it anyway). My ex was also physically and mentally abusive. There's a laundry list of why I think he's a dead beat.
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ms.momo3
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:12 AM
I went through this with my ex. When we split he took my kids from me. Just stole them. I had been a sahm up until then, he refused to let me work. Within the month he was asking me to take them back because he couldnt handle them.
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Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:15 AM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this.  :(  He DOES sound like a bum, like my ex.  My ex lives off his father's money. 

It is easy to have all that fun when he has no responsibilities. 

Try to carve out time in the evenings to do fun things with your son, as well as on the weekends you are with him.  Make your own memories and try to be fun in your own way. 

stickyfingers
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this
yes i have been through that. he is 3 just tell him "well i love you more than anything" can u think of something you can do special just the two of you? here is something i have done and its probably not right lol but it worked...i would put together a little goody bag for the kids so they had a little suprised when they got in the car. it was usually just $1 stuff from target or the dollar store but they loved it. or wrap something up like a gift. make it fun, make him start looking forward to you!
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mytrueloveS
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:01 AM

This hasn't happened to me, I say talk to your son about it.  Try to work with your schedule and spend more time with your son.  

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