Pregnant and Heartbroken..ADVICE!

[JuneBuggaLee]

Hi Moms! I am a 20 year old service member and I am 17 weeks pregnant. The father and I had broken up on my terms before I knew I was pregnant...when i told him he freaked out and tried to pressure and abortion but i didnt want to do it...now he says he hates me and wants nothing to do with me or my child..he said i was just for fun even after he said he was in love with me now im heartbroken and alone and dont know how to handle all of this :(((((

[faerie75]

Don't count on him but keep him informed unless he asks you not to. Most young men don't welcome the news of an unplanned pregnancy with someone they are not serious with.

You will be surprised what you can do. You will be fine. Your military career will likely be fine. Just DONT go and have OThER kids as a single mom wih other dudes. Many have and are fine but it compounds your difficulties In life.

[JuneBuggaLee]

Quoting faerie75:

Don't count on him but keep him informed unless he asks you not to. Most young men don't welcome the news of an unplanned pregnancy with someone they are not serious with.

You will be surprised what you can do. You will be fine. Your military career will likely be fine. Just DONT go and have OThER kids as a single mom wih other dudes. Many have and are fine but it compounds your difficulties In life.

Thanks and that makes sense..i guess right now im just in shock about how unaccepting he is.

[Srvp20]

I'm so sorry guys are assholes but it happens hun my son is now 3 and his BF nowhere around. I think it's much better that way. Just do anything and everything you can for you and your LO.

[LifeCafe42]

Welcome! If you want keep him updated like Casey said. Be prepared to do this in your own. Utilize your resources and start looking into them now!

[conniejo75]

I can understand why he doesn't want to accept.... honestly who wants to have a baby they dont want to be with? I mean you had already broken up with him so i am sure he is in disbelief and denial. But what's happened has happened. You can't expect him to be there. You need to be prepared to do it on your own.

[JuneBuggaLee]

even with all the reasoning and logic i dont understand he pops in and outta my life whenever he wants...am i supposed to just take that through out this whole thing? one minute he wants to be there the next minute he doesnt ..i dont want to be with him so im having a hard time figuring out why he wont make up his mind thats NOT fair to me...

[conniejo75]

You are letting him pop in and out of your life. You need to decide what is best for you and don't allow him to treat you that way. Preg or not, you choose how others treat you

Quoting JuneBuggaLee:

even with all the reasoning and logic i dont understand he pops in and outta my life whenever he wants...am i supposed to just take that through out this whole thing? one minute he wants to be there the next minute he doesnt ..i dont want to be with him so im having a hard time figuring out why he wont make up his mind thats NOT fair to me...

[Robsessed98]

Keep him informed but have no other communication with him. As time goes by, he may change his mind and want to be a dad. Sometimes it takes men a long time to accept and deal with it, but leave the door open. In the meantime plan on doing it by yourself. You are stronger than you realize and you can be a single mom.

[JuneBuggaLee]

im just holding on to a chance that he would want to be there for me i guess..

[Strength4Karma]

*hugs* i kno the feeling. Pm me if u ever need sumone to talk to 1 on 1