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Need help or advice for a hearing coming up..

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:14 PM
  • 6 Replies

I have a court hearing coming up regarding my 3 kids.  The two biggest things, obviously are child support and custody. We had moved one year this month, and not married. I heard from a few people he had been seen with a few different women.  My beef with this is, he has not spent any time with the kids or even tried to really call them or at least take them to Mcd's w/in the last 2 months.  Has not given any financial support at all. I don't want to fight at all about custody, but I know his attorney is feeding all this to him. 

     But I know there are little stuff I should add into this battle, he needs to take care of himself.  Example, he does not have carseats for the two smaller ones and takes them without it.  And usually does not feed them a real dinner before I pick them up.  I work till 7pm, then I pick them up and I have to make them a very late dinner when we get home.  I don't know how much to ask for child support.  Stuff like that, I need others input.  Little things that he should be helping out himself.  I love to hear what your experiences were.  I would really appreciate it.


by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:14 PM
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:21 PM

I think you should make him get car seats, your childrens' safety is important. He also needs to feed them. What state are you in? There is usually a child support calculator for your state that you can look up. 

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:39 PM

Have you thought about getting a crock pot for your household? You can put dinner ingredients in it, set it on low while you are gone, and it would be done by the time you got home. In regards to custody, weekends should be mapped out more like you having first, third, and fifth weekends of the month with him having the second and fourth weekends. You should have child support garnished by the state, so he does not play any games with it. If he wants to share income tax deductions, make it that he is up to date on it along with you having the first and third children and him having the second one.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:51 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

The court takes in consideration your wages and his wages.  Even if he is not workiing,  they still take into consideration of what he can make if he were to work.    For visitation, the court may tell you that you have to give him the car seats when exchanging the kids, so there will be no issues there.  It's all up to how both of you word your documents.  Good luck.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:07 AM

Well, other then handing him everything on a platter.... you need to put your foot down! Tell him he DOES NOT take the children without car seats (if caught by the state and you have knowledge of it that give the state reason to question you and him and reason to take the kids) if they live with you and not him, and he baby sits for you while you work and you have no one eles, tell him he stays at your house with them, take his car keys to work with you. To fix the dinner thing, pack the kids a dinner (Sandwiches and easy stuff, send it in the oldest kids bag and dont tell him....let the kids know its there when they are hungry and if he asks about it put your foot down n tell him to straiten up. and make sure he knows you will not always pack a dinner so you expect them to eat right!

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:52 PM
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1.  I would make sure that the carseats are mentioned in the settlement agreement.  That he can't pick-up the kids until HE buys the seats.  It's not your job to provide something he should as a father.  2.  Find out what he currently makes and have the court set-up cs payments via garnishments from his paycheck.  I would never trust an ex to pay you directly.  Have the courts mandate it.  3.  Have it in writing that HE ensure proper food is given to the children while they are in his care.  You shouldn't have to provide the meals for your kids.  He's an adult and their father.  Let HIM provide this.  4.  Have visitation set-up on every other weekend - or however you and your stbx set-up the arrangements.  Some fathers come and pick-up their kids on Sunday's.  That way both parents get to have one weekend day with their kids.  (I grew up like this). 

You shouldn't have to provide for anything for your kids that your stbx should.  He's a grown-up and more than able to be a proper father.  If anything once the kids are set on a visitation schedule ask them what they are eating.  If the stbx isn't providing proper nutrition, remind the idiot that you have a court order in place.  He will comply soon enough. 


by Gold Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:04 PM

I believe child support will be determined by the state based off of the formula they have preset.  If you google your state and the child support there may be a calculator that you can enter the info into that may give you an idea of what they may call for.  Good luck!

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