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Single Moms Single Moms

how do you do it

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:20 PM
  • 9 Replies
Hello, I joined this site for help. How do single mothers do it in their own. I have three kids and I am very unhappy i'm my marriage and want to leave. I've tried every thing to make it work. Even moved whole family across country for his job. I just can't do it any more, but how do I survive on my own. How do I tell my kids
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by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:20 PM
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Replies (1-9):
sonnyswoman75
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:34 AM
It will be hard but you can do it. You just have to stay strong.
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MsLogansMommy
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:33 AM

are you asking how do single moms do it financially or are you asking how we do everything else like emotionally or balancing etc

larissacst
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:07 AM

I don't do it alone. I had to move back in with my family. Left my "home" of 16 years in Austin, Texas and move back to shithole Beaumont. I'm a night stocker at a grocery store and it sucks. If I received CS I would be able to move out. Now 2 1/2 years later I have a BF of 10 months and when income taxes hit we are moving in together. But alone? No. As for emotionally I had to ask myself numerous times if it would be better if I were still with my ex. The answer is always no. He was an abusive crackhead who would rather spend money on strippers (nothing against any, I was one) and alcohol and drugs rather than his son. He did support us when we all lived together but once I put his ass injail and he got out..different story. It sucks big time but you can do. Good luck momma in whatever you choose to do.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:19 AM
It's not easy you take every day day by day. Remember to take some mommy time and we are here for support!
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aniyamommy2009
by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:30 AM

Just take it one day at time and with time everything will fall into place and it will be better.

lightoftheworld
by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Its very hard. Not gonna lie. I have 3 little ones (6,5,3) and Im very blessed that I have a good paying job/schedule and a supportive family. I only get $400/month in CS, but pay $1800/mo in daycare expenses. The only way I can stay above water financially is that I live in a house that my parents own (they pay the mortgage for me). If I made less money, I would probably have to quit my job and live on welfare because of the outrageous childcare expenses.

Emotionally, its very difficult too. My 6yr old is very aware of when Mommy gets frustrated. They've seen me cry several times because sometimes they are just so naughty and I can only take so much. On the other hand, they are also so loving and I get 100% of that love. Its hard having 3 little people entirely dependant on you, 24hours a day. There is no daddy around to help me when all 3 kids have the flu and are puking. Nobody to watch the kids when I have the flu and am puking. Thankfully, my parents are good about helping with that too.

Men meet me and we go on a few dates and then they disappear. Most men just want sex, because they wont consider being with a woman with 3 little kids. Of course they disappear even faster when I dont sleep with them right away. They hate having to pre-plan dates a week in advance because I need to get a babysitter. They dont understand why they cant stay the night.

So yes, its very hard. Would I change it and get back together with my ex? Oh hell no!! He came for 9 days at christmas and I was ready to divorce him all over again. He reminded me that when he is around, he doesnt count as an adult because he is positively useless, just a lump on the couch who eats my food.

Think really seriously about all those things before you leave. Make a financial plan. See if you would qualify for any assistance programs. Think about who is going to be your support network. My kids dad totally checked out even worse after we split up. Make sure you have those safety nets in place before you make the big leap. Good luck!
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Hugs!!

Childofares
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Very good organization skills. I also have a very strict routine for myself and my son which helps make sure that everything gets done and done right. I sacrifice a lot for myself so that DS can have everything he needs to help him as he gets older (soccer, dance piano ect). Money will always be tight for us. Simply because we have one less income than before but I developed excellent saving routines that comes in handy more often then not. I've also learned not to listen to people that think because I don't spend every waking moment with my child that he is going to end up a criminal (my sister implies this alot) just make sure the time you spend with them is quality..not quantity

cochranepd
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Being a single mom to three little boys (twins who are 6 and a 4 year old) is so hard but I hope some day it will get easier and I will find someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not someone who is negative and mentally abusive.  I try to take it one day at a time and think that it is better to raise a family in a home where the parents don't fight and where the mom can be happy knowing she had the strength to leave a bad relationship.

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