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Single Moms Single Moms

The Strange New Ways of my EX

So over the last few months my ex has made some changes that have left me pretty shocked. My ex would see our son a few times a year ( probably 3 or 4 times) and now he is seeing him every day. After I asked for a divorce he moved to an apartment in the building across the street from ours but didnt' spend much time there due to work but now he been making it a point to walk our son to school every morning and even come over a few times a week for dinner and will take turns taking our son to his weekend activities, it's starting to feel like a routine, a good routine. It's wonderful to see them together so often now, my ex is also attending most of my prenatal visits with me and has helped me start to put together the nursery for the twins. Things  have been remarkable well, he has step up as a father to our son and future children, he has even been a supportive "partner" during my pregnancy so far, so why I am waiting for the shoe to drop ?


He asked me this week if he should also setup a nursery for the twins as his apartment and if I would consider putting a day bed in my nursery so that he can stay overnight a few days the first few weeks they are home. I feel like we made so much progress in the last few weeks and I'm trying to enjoy how easy thing have been as well but the realistic side of me is telling me to wait for the other shoe to drop. Should I just focus on now or  try to prepare myself for the what if's ?

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Replies (11-18):
victoriahearts
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Oh I know you gals are right, I need to take it step by step, and judge for the right now instead of the tomorrow but it's so hard. And true he live across the street he could just come visit often if he wished, but I also see the point of having an extra pair of hands in the evening when the twins are newborn. I don't want to make a mistake but I also don't want to be so guarded and negative.

Quoting steviechick:


Quoting faerie75:

 i think you should take it one day at a time. i know that is hard.


^This.  I also think you and your ex broke up because you just can't be a couple.  If he lives not too far away let him come over anytime he wants when the twins are born.  Don't open yourself up for him to more or less move in.  Big mistake in my book.


mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Just take everything a step at a time, don't stress about it. Don't think about the bad things that could happen or if you guys were to get back together. Don't wait for the other shoe to drop but don't set yourself up to think it's going to be a fairy tale ending. It's good that he's taking an active role in his kids lives.

raschwittay
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 7:47 AM

take what you can get. and if he resorts to his "old ways" (im just assuming right now), then throw him back on his own. soon you will have too much to do to worry about his actions, or unaction,

Diamond2010
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:26 AM

I think he wants to be back with you.  However, be very cautious and don't think that he wants to be back with you just to be on the safe side.  My thoughts could be wrong.

Robsessed98
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 1:31 PM
As with any relationship enjoy the present, hope for the future but be ready and aware for the possible end. Dont let fear of what might happen interfere with what is currently happening.
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BeachMommy07
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:55 PM
Quoting arkmomma06:

Hope it continues to go well.


LexRi0709
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:00 PM
One day at a time and just let things happen slowly. If they are meant to be they will be. Maybe the divorce really showed him that his career isn't everything. As far as the bed thing, I personally wouldn't. He could either couch it for a few days or an air matress.
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victoriahearts
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:07 AM

You are absolutely right soon, I will be outnumbered by kids lol

Quoting raschwittay:

take what you can get. and if he resorts to his "old ways" (im just assuming right now), then throw him back on his own. soon you will have too much to do to worry about his actions, or unaction,


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