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So confused

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 3:08 PM
  • 4 Replies

I joined this group about 4 months ago, my husband and I were going to divorce. His parents talked us into staying together and going to counseling. So we did. Things never really got much better, just kind of started back to our busy selfs and went on with life. Now here we are again, and I want so bad to leave. We always fight and we are both unhappy. We are literally together for the kids, we have a 4 year old boy, 2 1/2 year old girl and 6 month girl. I've been a sham for 4 years, just started a very part time job (12 hours a week). I'm so afraid to leave. Where will I live, how will I pay for it, putting the kids in child are since I will need a full time job. On top of it I have no family here, they all live 500+ miles away, it's only his family. I'm so close to all his family I'm afraid I will lose them too. I just don't know what to do, do I stay and keep hoping it will get better, or leave to end the nonsense. I'm afraid ill never find anyone to be with again, i mean who really wants a divorced single mom of 3?! I hate the idea of going from a huge house to a small apartment, but I don't see myself getting the house, that's one thing he will fight for. Anybody with wisdom on this I really need some.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Robsessed98
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Staying together only for the kids is one of the worst reasons there is. Having happy divorced parents is always better than having unhappy married ones. Kids learn real young about how to live by following their parents example. They always know when their parents aren't happy and that along with hearing the arguing damages them more than you'd think. I know several people who were raised that way and every one of them resent their parents somewhat for it because they feel guilty for being the reason the parents were unhappy all those years. Also, almost all of those people have always had bad relationships because they never learned how to have a healthy one.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:38 PM

have a nice day.  Being single might make you more unhappy because you don't have any adult to talk to and all the times will be spending time with the kids.  You need to happiness within yourself, not your spouse to make things happen.  If I had a choice I would have rather stayed in a marriage and try to work things out, than to be divorced and go through an ugly situation.  Finding another man will not make things any better. 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:56 PM
I agree it's better to have happy divorced parents that can work together than a fighting angry home.
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LittleFrogsMA
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:23 PM

Get a full time job and some financial independence before you do anything.

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