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children traveling out of the country w the other parent

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:57 PM
  • 19 Replies

I'm faced with my ex wanting to take our son, who is 8 to Costa Rica this summer to visit his mother. I'm very apprehensive about this. my ex has lived in Costa Rica and knows the language and culture. my former mother in law, well is a little whacky and she is apparently paying for the trip and according to my ex, has a trip of a lifetime planned. while I think it's a great opportunity for my son, it scares me to death. my ex went there on vacation several years ago and didn't return when he was supposed to.  my ex keeps bringing up the issue and I have told him that I need time to digest it. he knows my fear is that he will kidnap him and he spent, and I know in my heart he won't but I'm still worried about my son being THAT far away from me. Any advice???

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momma1708
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:06 PM

I would talk to your lawyer about it and see if there is anything you can do. I think it is a great thing for your child to experience. Maybe even look up the costa rican laws of custody when a child is kidnapped and brought there just so you are aware. Make sure your lawyer know what is happening and have an offical note made of it. Make sure you are allowed contact with him and make sure your ex knows that you expect your son to be home by the time promised or you will take action. His mom can't make him stay any longer. 

momma1708
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:07 PM


Quoting momma1708:

I would talk to your lawyer about it and see if there is anything you can do. I think it is a great thing for your child to experience. Maybe even look up the costa rican laws of custody when a child is kidnapped and brought there just so you are aware. Make sure your lawyer know what is happening and have an offical note made of it. Make sure you are allowed contact with him and make sure your ex knows that you expect your son to be home by the time promised or you will take action. His mom can't make him stay any longer. 

when I say anything you can do, I mean anything you can do to enforce him to come home when promised like making up a contract or something 

efarrugia
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:27 PM

thanks. my ex and I are on VERY good terms. I know my fears are unfounded, but I'm a mom and worryworry.I guess I should come up with a list of my expectations and when I expect communications from them. I have a feeling I'm going to be very grateful for Skype.... ugh.. it stresses me out to no end just thinking about it.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 5:31 PM

 You know where your son is supposed to be, so if ex does try to kidnap him, you have that information.  Best to refer to your court order if you have one, otherwise go to court asap and get that issued covered.  Also, get his itenerary on paper and have him sign it.  There may have been a reason why your ex didn't get back in time the last time he went there by himself. 

efarrugia
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:38 PM

thanks for the kind words everyone.. 


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:44 PM
It sounds like an amazing opportunity but I don't blame you I'd have a heart attack with DS going out of state! Make sure everything is covered legally and I think a contract with your ex isn't a bad idea
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momma1708
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:44 PM

we all worry. It is part of being a mom, just make sure that you have all your bases covered. There is no harm in being prepared for the what if's because if that what if happens you don't want to be taken off guard, you want to be prepared. I say, get all your bases covered and keep in touch. Don't let him miss one single phone call or anything. I know I wouldn't. 

Quoting efarrugia:

thanks. my ex and I are on VERY good terms. I know my fears are unfounded, but I'm a mom and worryworry.I guess I should come up with a list of my expectations and when I expect communications from them. I have a feeling I'm going to be very grateful for Skype.... ugh.. it stresses me out to no end just thinking about it.


Lurion
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:57 PM

It's really no big deal. My ex is Tico, too :) and I take the kids down there all the time. You have to sign and notarize a form with the specific dates before they'll let him on the plane with the kids anyway. 

You know where his relatives live. Costa Rica is a very "Americanized" place. If there were any problems (which I doubt), you'd have no problem with the authorities getting them back. They'll have a blast. Very good for them to absorb the culture and spend time with their Tico relatives. Tranquila mama. It will be fine. 

shudderette
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:26 PM

I'd have the same kind of anxiety. you know his dad loves him and wants the best for him, which includes bringing him back to his mom in 1 piece. make sure you stress that and like the previous posters say get your bases covered, but yeah, let him go. he'll always remember it :) 

Mocking.Jay
by ★Krista★ on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:43 PM

This is just me, but if I were you, I'd ask if I could go along. I would not trust an 8 year old alone with their father. Good terms or not. 

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