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I don't even know where to begin...

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:34 PM
  • 4 Replies

Well, the whole reason I joined CafeMom is for advice...so here it goes... This is going to be a long one.

I'm a semi-single mom of three. I say semi-single because while I am committed to someone, we don't live together, live an hour apart and only see other on Sundays. Anyway, I have a 3 y/o boy, an almost 2 y/o boy and a newborn girl. For confusions sake, we'll refer to the 3 y/o boy as K, the 2 y/o boy as D and the newborn girl as L.

I am struggling something hardcore with my older two. They absolutely will not listen to me. I feel like I've tried everything. They do not have an contact with their father's. My boyfriend is not their father. He is, however, who has been in their life for over a year now and they do think of him as "dad." K only has bad memories of his real dad. I'm a domestic violence survivor. I finally left right after K turned 2. So, he is proving to remember some instances of that. D was only 7 months old, so he doesn't remember anything thankfully. 

Anyway, they constantly fight with each other, they get into everything they know they shouldn't, they play with anything that isn't a toy, they don't eat their food, they fight sleep at nap and bedtime, etc. It is a battle with the two of them every single day. It's really wearing me down and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I am a nursing mom to a newborn with two very rebellious toddlers. I am at a loss because I feel like I've tried everything. I've tried timeouts, taking toys away, taking TV away, putting them to bed early, separating them, etc. I never spanked my kids or anything, but the one time I did slap their hands they just laughed at me. It's like they don't respond to anything. However, they do listen to most guys. They have listened to my boyfriend, my pastor, my sitter's husband, my boyfriend's best friend, my prayer warrior's husband, etc. I feel like they'll listen to everyone except me.

I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I am ending every single day in tears and sometimes end up crying before the day is even over. I feel terrible when I look forward to them sleeping, but they generally fight going to sleep for a good two hours or more. I can't even take a bath until 10 or 11pm without them continuing to scream and cry because they don't want to go to bed.

I am praying that someone here will have some sound advice for me. I am really struggling. My boyfriend can't move in with me. Long story short, he got into an accident with an Amish man almost two years ago and is no on probation for it. Terms of his probation are that he remain in the county he's in until it's over, which isn't for another year. So, I am doing it on my own basically. If anyone has any suggestions, please don't hesitate to send them my way. I am at a loss. Thank you in advance.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-4):
mytrueloveS
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:32 AM

I spank my son when everything else fails.  He's learned that it hurts, when I put him in time out he listens or he knows what's coming.  I don't know, I only have one child and it's easier, I say be much strict and consistent.  Don't give them warnings, just put them in time out and be firm.  

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:40 PM

It sounds like your toddlers are behaving like toddlers do.  Especially with a new baby in the house.

You will have to try different tactics to get them to behave, and remember that what works for one won't necessarily work for the other.

Welcome to the group.

Em-mama
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:58 PM

In all honesty, it sounds like your kiddos may need a spanking and a stern talking to. I know it's hard, but if they learn to be disciplined now, they will become better people later! And this may sound silly, but watching Nanny 911 may help! ( That is, if you can find some extra time to) 

I can't imagine how hard it is juggling 3 kids on your own. but remember that your not alone, and there are lots of resources you can reach out to that can help with getting your little ones under control. I will pray for you!

NellieWhispers
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:23 PM

I used to watch Supernanny. I keep seeing Nanny 911 on Netflix. Maybe it's a sign that I need to watch. Today we were at my boyfriend's house and they listened to him way better. He also talked to them telling me they need to start behaving better for me. He also suggested for the bedtime issue that maybe I need to push their bedtime back a little bit. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, I definitely need them.

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