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Single Moms Single Moms

NEW to single...How do I do this?

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:36 AM
  • 6 Replies

Im having one of those days... an off day. Im a newly single (3 months) mommy of 4 young children 8,5,3,3 im  27. Im all alone here. Some days are fine and I am very proud of myself. Other days (like today) i feel lost. How am I supposed to do this? It is so hard. Ive never been single. I want to get to know myself, and like my self, grow as a person... but! How the heck? I dont want to date, but I do. I cant afford everything, but we make it by. I dont know where to go from here. I also dont know any single mommys at all. Everyone says im doing such a great job. Truth is i feel like im drowning. I just cant wait for the kids to go to bed so I can cry. I dont feel normal! Please help... what are some good 1st steps here? And, how do you all get through the "off days"?

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:36 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Lurion
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:48 AM

Lots of support your way! That's a lot of pressure for a 27 year old! 

Cry when you need to cry. Get involved in your kids' schools and activities if you can--you'll meet other moms. Life will get a lot easier when the 5 year old starts school, then you can really take a breath when the twins are off. 

Best of luck to you. :)

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Welcome to the group!  What you're feeling is totally normal.  It's a confusing state being newly single.  Hang in there.. (((hug)))

Quoting 3sunshine3:

Im having one of those days... an off day. Im a newly single (3 months) mommy of 4 young children 8,5,3,3 im  27. Im all alone here. Some days are fine and I am very proud of myself. Other days (like today) i feel lost. How am I supposed to do this? It is so hard. Ive never been single. I want to get to know myself, and like my self, grow as a person... but! How the heck? I dont want to date, but I do. I cant afford everything, but we make it by. I dont know where to go from here. I also dont know any single mommys at all. Everyone says im doing such a great job. Truth is i feel like im drowning. I just cant wait for the kids to go to bed so I can cry. I dont feel normal! Please help... what are some good 1st steps here? And, how do you all get through the "off days"?


ckmom2013
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:46 PM

I am new here as well. I got tired of venting on Facebook and talking to friends who just don't understand. It seems like we are going through the same exact thing. My children are 1 and 3 though. It does get hard at times, but in the end it's all worth it. We will see this when they are old enough to do for themselves and we see how good of a job we did raising them.

Mznaye
by Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:26 PM
Cry when you need to and take one day at a time. Sometimes take an hour at a time. It gets easier ad time passes. Its been three years for me and I have days where I can't see my way through but keep holding on
divinemomma
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

You can get through it. i have a great magazine article for single moms. Great advice on how to manage and be successful. I can email the PDF to you.

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:21 PM
1 mom liked this

The first step is to cut yourself some slack, the fact that you are able to provide for your children is a HUGE accomplishment, the fact that you know that your not 100% is also something to be thankful for, not a lot of people can admit when they are feeling down. So after you cut yourself some slack, maybe you can find someone to talk to, so you can get some feelings out , talking was a huge help for me to get through the first few months of being single, get over the angry I felt about my divorce and eventually taught me how to cope with my new "status" of being a single mother.  The second thing is ask yourself is there anything you can do to improve your situation financially, could you benefit from going back to school? could you maybe ask your employer for a raise or maybe look for a better paying job? Is there anything that you are paying right now that you can cut back on, cell phone bill, cable, anything else? Make yourself a budget you'll be surprise how soothing it is to see all the bills in one place, how much money is coming in and going out and to see if there is any money left. Also are you able to get child support for your four children? Are you eligible for any help for the government? Be it for food, housing, or for you to go back to school if you wish. You have to look for the resources and keep cutting yourself slack. It's hard but it eventually does get easier, focus on your kids and yourself and you will make it through this time. 

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