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How do you find time to date, and find a guy wanting to date someone with kids?

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I find it hard to fit in time to go get my nails and hair done. Let alone fit in time to find someone, and go on a date. Mon-Fri I go to work, pick up kids, cook, and go to bed. Weekends are sleep in, relax, and get the kids out of the house. I don't know how other moms do it, and still have the energy to do it.

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:34 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:09 PM

 I am in the same boat. it is hard for me to date because i don't have anybody  to support on dating right now. everyone i know think that i should be focusing on school and my 2 boys for now. which i have class on monday nights other than that i home with my boys. i have time for myself while they are in school, but everyone are either at work or in class.

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:34 PM

It's the worst. No one offers to watch my children, and I don't ask because I feel like the godparents, grandparents, and father should be spending quality time with them already. So I find it very hard to date. When I do find the time, the guy is usually a lying jerk!

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:40 PM
1 mom liked this

well, when i was first single I only went out when my kids were with thier dad on his designated days. it was nice that way and it took away any guilt of leaving my kids at home for a date. after the bar scene was exhuasted, i went on wasnt looking for a boyfriend I just wanted to meet new people away from my work environment and out of the bar scene. I didnt really feel comfortable, and I was super picky, it was (i have to admit) flatterning to have so many inquiries but utlimately, i wasnt interested.....TILL, i saw a post that caught my eye, and felt comfortable and relaxed and willing to pursue it further...i met a man who was fun, a father of 1, im a mother of 3. and went meet and hit it off immediately. we dated from that point on, taking things very slow, and mutually agreeing to wait to meet each others kids and after 6 months of seriously dating we finally brought our kids into the picture. up until this point, my children had never met anyone i had dated, everyone clicked and we have been a happy family ever since. we recently bought a house and plan on one day getting married. the point is, make the effort to interact with others, but just have fun and whatever is meant to happen will. but take the time to mingle....ur single remember!!

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:03 PM

I have a lot of good friends, and I try make friends so I have people to rely on when I need to go out once in a while. I also have cousins that live in the city that I have to schedule way in advance. So if a date needs to be cancelled, I take him to my cousin anyway and just use the evening to vedge out and relax and clean! :)

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:07 PM
Same here. I'm also in college. Dating is so far from my mind I'm so busy I can't imagine even finding 5 minutes for myself let alone someone else

Quoting Kid_Cat_Mom2005:

Yep, I'm in the same situation. My guess is the moms have babysitters or family support. For me, I don't have any family support and cant afford the extra daycare costs. I don't plan on dating for a long time.
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:11 PM
I've had a hard time with it in the post and got to the point that I gave up on dating for awhile. I recently got into plentyoffish thinking it would be s complete joke...I met a guy who so far has been everything I'm looking for and more. a complete gentleman, great head on his shoulders, understands being a parent since he has a daughter...and even though he's newer to the single parent club, he does get it. I would never ask him to give up time with his daughter and he knows it's not always easy for me to find a babysitter. I live a half hour from family, but they try to help when they can. my best friend and her sisters love babysitting my son which helps a ton. it's all trial and error as him and I put it. we've enjoyed the time we have had, so we just stay patient and do what we can. movie nights are great...he came over last weekend to watch a movie after my son was in bed. we both agreed we dont want the kids involved fact, we both feel that when our kids do meet someone else, it'll be "the one" so we do what we can..
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:41 PM

I have family support as well, but I too feel like I am placing a burden on them when I ask them to watch my children. I do have nieces that are old enough, but they don't want to be stuck watching children all of the time. Plus i have to pay them, and I can't afford to do that all of the time. I do like the idea of making friends with other moms who want to date too and trade off. I still need to get out and find other moms lol.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:23 AM
1 mom liked this

Find a guy who already has kids of his own!  Go out on "family dates" where you & your kids meet up w/ him & his kids.  If it's someplace public like a park or restaurant play-place, then the kids won't have so much pressure or awkwardness since there will most likely be other kids there.  It'll help you & your date too.  By having (hopefully) a little bit of distraction, you two won't have the awkward silences & not-sure-where-to-look moments.  This scenario is exactly how I got to know my dh & his kids, & vice versa!  We've been together 3 yrs now!!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:38 AM

I always seem to find the guys who seem to think my child is an inconvenience and they want me to push her off on others so we can go out. No thank you. Somehow I always attract the losers and I'm done with dating for quite a while. I want love but I don't want to go through a bunch of horrible men also. I've been through too many abusive guys to even feel like I can trust anybody right now. 

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:51 AM

I don't have a problem getting a sitter as my DD is old enough to watch herself.  My problem is having friends that are single and that are willing to hang out with me in public areas.  I've been divorced for just over a year and I'm ready to move on with a new guy.  I've joined a new gym and was planning on going to a local church that has a couple hundred members there.  I didn't go because I was at a friend's house (married) and didn't have dinner by the time church rolled around (5:30).  I plan on going to church service this weekend and socializing.  Volunteering eventually.  Just getting out more and being seen.  I run when I can when the weather permits.  So, I am getting out and about.  Spring will soon be here.  I want to be in shape and be noticable at the golf range.  Single guys hang out there.  Eventually I will meet a nice guy and go from there.  I also plan on looking into moving to ATL.  It all depends on a job and if I can get a nice 2 bedroom apt.  I'm also thinking about having my DD join me so she can continue her nursing degree.  We both need a new fresh start - away from the ex and the history that follows us here.  A lot on my plate.  

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