I am a relatively new young single mom, and I'm really starting to break down. My now, ex fiance and I were together for 4 years before we got pregnant. Our pregnancy was somewhat planned, but the timing was a bit off. However, we were still both excited, he was more excited initially. Unfortunately, around 5 months our lives took a turn for the worst. I lost my job and his pay wasn't enough to make ends me. So, needless to say we ended up losing everything in a very short time. We eventually ended up selling what we had left, furniture, electronics, etc and moved up north to stay with his mom. I was about 6 1/2 months pregnant when I was informed I may be a high risk pregnancy. I also wasn't able to recieve prenatal care there so I ended up having to come back to Florida to monitor the baby and I. We then made a plan that he would fly down a few days before my due date andat that time we would discuss what we were going to do. That never happened. As the date drew near he began to make excuses about why he couldn't make it. I was devastated, but not wanting to accept what everyone was saying, I just made excuses for his excuses. My daughter was born in November, so Christmas was just around the corner, he promised to AT LEAST be here for that, he wasn't. More excuses. My tolerance level exploded on NYE when I received a drunk text at 1am. He told me he was working so he wasn't doing anything to celebrate. I then asked him if he would want me to try and keep her up so he could call on his break around midnight to wish her a happy new year, he said yes...so I did. Well, once that call didnt come I brushed it off thinking he was just busy at work and forgot. Nope, he wasn't. Instead, he was out getting drunk and then TEXTED me happy new year an hour later. When I called him out about it he then told me that I wasn't his mother, so he didn't have to check in with me. At that moment, I decided I needed to be done, so I told him that I was changing her last name and filing for full custody. I didn't get a response. After a few days of no reply I broke down and started begging for forgiveness...still nothing. His mom said he was trying to "teach me a lesson" because he was angry at me for threatening to take her away from him. After hearing that I just got more upset because I finally started to realize how full of bs he really was. I mean what kind of logic is that? You're an adult and a father, so act like one. But now its been almost over 2 weeks and I still haven't heard from him. I am so heart broken and angry that I keep fighting with myself about whatthe right thing to do is. All I know is I want to give my daughter the best life possible, I just ddon't really know if that means I allow the possibility of him maybe showing up one day and being a father to her or if I should sever all ties now and she doesnt have to know him. All I kniw is I feel so pathetic, lost, confused, and alone. Help!!!
on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:30 AM