i have a son. he's 4. my ex has helped me raise him for the past 2 years. our relationship has been rocky always.. we are up and down and he gets very mad at simple things i do or say and takes off. well now we have a baby. she's 10 days old today. we spent the last half of my prenancy broken up and fighting mostly. he kept saying he'd get custody/visitation.. and support her. so it seemed like he at least wanted to be involved in her life. i went into labor and called him and he ignored me like he always does and i didn't leave a message.. he texted the day after i had her (but he didn't know she was here yet) and said he was going back to africa (his home country) and he would support the baby if she was his... he's also been talking the entire time about setting up a paternity test on his own to make sure she is.. and thats fine. well i told him i had her - sent him pictures and suddenly he says shes not his. ive begged him everyday to come and meet her (today i put a stop to that) and have asked about having the state do a paternity test and child support. he told me he was going to get a restraining order against me and change his phone and his email so i could no longer contact him.. :( I don't know how we got here. just seems like everything he does everything he says is meant to bring pain to me and my son and its obvious he could care less about his daughter.. i know he knows shes his.. and even iif he does think i was messing around (which i wasn't) he knows theres a chance that shes his.. I just don't understand how he can jump countries without knowing and how he can just not even come to see her!! How does someone help me take good care of MY child who has no father and won't even come see his potential child??
i think its obvious that he wants nothing to do with any of us anymore. im torn as to whether i should file for child support(if he's leaving the country i think it's pointless...) or a paternity test.. i want him to know she's his. and i guess really i'm just hoping hell come around after knowing and we can be a family again which actually is very unlikely.. i'm nervous though that if he knows hell try to get visitation and i'm scared that if he does he'll kidnap her and take her to africa. im just scared of him really and what hell do.
and its terribly difficult to do a newborn and my son alone.. with no help..
i dont even know how we would raise her together. things with my son were either his way or a huge fight. we couldnt even begin to talk about a name for our daughter that we both liked and he won't tell me what he intends to do.. what kind of role he wants with her.. anything. nothing :( i guess wed be in court over every decision?!