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Child support inquiry!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM
  • 13 Replies

So, My oldest son is now 11, my ex was in prison most of his life, so I never got any child support from him. He just recently got out of prison in August 2012. I figured I would give him time to get on his feet before I decided to mention the child support topic. I mean, I didnt absolutely need it, I am completely able to pay my bills and support my 2 sons on my own. And after so many years of not getting anything from him, I got use to not getting it...Now he was recently diagnosed with cancer, which he is now going through chemo for, so again, I waited. He says he is applying for social security, and it could take quite a long time. So I am thinking even though I wouldnt get anything right away, should I still file so I can get back support?? I feel horrible about what he is going though, but I also feel like this is his son so he does have some kind of responsibility for him. He does live 2 hours away so he doesnt get to see him very often, but when he does I have to meet his mother halfway to drop him off and pick him up. Which I also have no problem doing. I am just wondering would it be selfish and cold hearted of me to file for support now? Im just wondering opinions. Thanks!

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:36 AM
It was his kids the only decision he didn't make was cancer. That's a tough call because I do believe he should be responsible for all of his actions but timing wise is hard
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victoriahearts
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:36 AM

It's hard. On one hand you have every right to file for child support, your ex has been able to provide it for years due to his poor choices that landed him in jail but on the other hand , it's hard not to feel compassion for his situation and say to wait until he has his SS.  I think whatever decision you make it's the right now, I personally think I would wait until he had the SS if it were me but do whatever you think it's right for your son. 

koalasami
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Are you sure he has cancer?  Is this his way of not paying? Without knowing him this is my first thought.

domsmom1026
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:21 PM

yes I do know he has cancer, with all the mistakes he has made he isnt one to lie about something like this. I know he would pay the child support if he was able. And me having a heart, feels bad bad about his situation. I guess the main thing would be I know I cannot get anything right now, but if I file now then back support would begin accruing. Its a tough decision. I know. I dont want to make his life any harder then it is right now, but cancer or not, he still has responsibilities to his son.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:59 PM

 in my state you only get it from the date he is served.

MamaT710
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:24 PM

 It's a tough call either way, being fortunate to take care of your sons without the help is great.  But he is the father and he needs to be responsible some way.  If he is applying for SS, I have been told by the SS office that if he gets denied keep applying and when it finally kicks in or is accepted they will retro back to the 1st file date.  If you don't file for support to kick in now while he files for SS, you risk losing out on the back support (if he doesn't let it lapse between denied and re-filing)  your son deserves.

mamaofficer
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:21 PM

If I am not mistaken, he can put his chid on his SS and they will pay him too. But talk to him about this he need this.

Lurion
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:25 PM

I really hate to say this (being a cancer survivor myself), but you probably also want to make sure any paperwork is done that establishes him as your child's father, if--God forbid--he passes. Then your son would get his SS at least. 

Good luck. 


Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:31 PM

I agree....good luck.

Quoting LifeCafe42:

It was his kids the only decision he didn't make was cancer. That's a tough call because I do believe he should be responsible for all of his actions but timing wise is hard


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domsmom1026
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Yes he did sign the paternity aknowledgement when my son was born so that is not an issue. I will contatc him my son getting a check alos because if my memory serves me correct I do remember hearing somethin about this. Thanks for all your input everyone

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