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Why does it have to be so hard...

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:49 PM
  • 23 Replies
1 mom liked this

I texted my ex today, letting him know how my doctor's appt went....I'm 22 weeks pregnant and he broke things off when I was about 12 weeks along. He only replied with, "yeah" and "ok." He never takes the initiative to ask how I'm doing or feeling....never seems interested, but for some reason I keep trying to reach out.

I'm having such a hard time letting him go...Why does it have to be so hard? Sometimes I wonder if the pain will ever really go away, especially since I'm going to have his child. Sorry for venting my sad story, but I get my hopes up every time I try to contact him. And every time, it ends up with me being broken hearted. 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:52 PM

 I know it is difficult but right now you have to try to stay strong and do what is best for you and the baby.  You can continue to keep him updated but just dont get your expectations up to high.  There are many possible outcomes for what could happen in the future but for now it is all about you and baby.

Hellopitty
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:00 PM
6 moms liked this

ok... 1. your ex is a total douche.  He is consistently showing you this.  BELIEVE HIM and act accordingly.

2. He is going to start getting major pressure from everyone around him when the baby gets here to be involved.  Decide how you are going to handle that now.  Have you spoken with a lawyer?

3. Stop contacting him. I know this is hard, and it hurts, but you keep leaving yourself wide open for him to hurt you, and you are letting him.  You need to save your own life and sanity.  Your focus now needs to be protecting this baby.  If this is how he is treating you and how immature he is handling things, what kind of parent do you think he will be?

Cut him out, focus on you and plan for the next steps.  Put a plan for custody, support etc. in place NOW, that way when baby gets here you can focus on the important stuff.. like snuggling a cute adorable squishy newborn!  You do not want to have to bring a newborn to court with you to get this crap hammered out!

maia188
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:01 PM
You don't need someone like that. My son's father left me when I was 3 months pregnant. Everytime I tried talking to him he would treat me awful. He hurt me so much. You need to focus on you and your baby I know its hard now but it gets better with time.
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sunshine389142
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:02 PM

I would restrict contact with just facts about the child.  So, I wouldn't put things that are about you....just things that are about the child...ie.  when the appt is, and then what the doctor says about the baby.  If he doesn't make the effort...you want to know that now...

As the previous post said...you have to protect your child and yourself.....its not going to be easy, but I hope you have a great support system with friends and family.

good luck.

flgirl12
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM

I have spoken with a laywer, and all the father wants is MONTHLY visitation....what kind of relationship does he expect by coming once a month?? We meet next month to fill our paperwork and then will file it once the baby is born. I've tried to stop texting, but after a couple of weeks I think that maybe he just needed space...everytime I try though, it's short and never extended on his part.

I just don't get it....how can someone say they love you one day, and the next drop everything? I thought he was the one--we even talked about getting married before I found out I was pregnant. It's so lonely when the "one" is suddenly gone.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:11 PM

*HUGS*

3sunshine3
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:21 PM

He doesnt desurve you at all.... if he choose to leave, let him. 

LOLOSMOMMY11
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:25 PM
I think u should just let him go...if he left you its because he doesn't care...my sons father left us so I never tell him anything that happens with the baby not one thing...he left me so he basically doesn't care...let him contact u if he really wants to know any info on u or the baby....
flgirl12
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:31 PM

In the end then, he gets the easy way out. His comfortable life stays the same as it always has been, while I leave him behind and take on this new world of parenting. I switch between despair, heartbreak, and anger in all of this.

EducatedMommie
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I couldn't have said it better.....take it from someone who spent years doing the back and forth relationship crap with a man who could care less and showed me.  It's not a good thing to look back at wasted years. 

Quoting Hellopitty:

ok... 1. your ex is a total douche.  He is consistently showing you this.  BELIEVE HIM and act accordingly.

2. He is going to start getting major pressure from everyone around him when the baby gets here to be involved.  Decide how you are going to handle that now.  Have you spoken with a lawyer?

3. Stop contacting him. I know this is hard, and it hurts, but you keep leaving yourself wide open for him to hurt you, and you are letting him.  You need to save your own life and sanity.  Your focus now needs to be protecting this baby.  If this is how he is treating you and how immature he is handling things, what kind of parent do you think he will be?

Cut him out, focus on you and plan for the next steps.  Put a plan for custody, support etc. in place NOW, that way when baby gets here you can focus on the important stuff.. like snuggling a cute adorable squishy newborn!  You do not want to have to bring a newborn to court with you to get this crap hammered out!


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