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Need some unbiased advice about moving across the country. Help?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:13 PM
  • 11 Replies

So here's my situation. I have two kids. They are from the same dad. I live in Colorado and their dad lives in Minnesota. He was around for a few months while my daughter was a baby and then we moved to Minnesota for a few months, I ended up moving back here because I let my mom get to me because she missed me and my daughter. I was also pregnant with my son when I came back. He still lives in Minnesota. It's where we met and where we grew up. Now things here kind of suck, I live with my mom and step dad and they really don't want me here. They have stopped buying groceries (I don't have a job) And everyone is annoyed whenever my kids are around. They are toddlers, they whine. A LOT. Anyways. I have the opportunity to move back to Minnesota. It won't be in the same town as my ex but it's only a three hour drive and he wants to be part of the kids lives. He does have a new girlfriend. I'm still deeply in love with him. I will be living with one of my best friends. She is a single mom too. My question is, does it make sense to move back to Minnesota? I really don't have any job prospects here and I really just can't get on my feet. I feel like I'm unwanted and unwelcome here. I have someone who really wants to me come live with her and the kids will have their father in their lives. Thanks in advance.

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
victoriahearts
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:33 PM
1 mom liked this

It does look like you would beneft a lot from the move but before you do move I would really consider whether you would be able to find employment out there because although you have a friend that does in fact want you to move out there , it could turn into your current situation where like your mother was all excited to have you there with her but after a time the relationship turned sour. So you don't want to keep moving around and having things turn sour after a while, I would start looking and seeing who easily it would be to find employment and also ask if there anything you can help her out with while you stay with her and find employment this way you are contribution to the household in some way. Best of luck it does in fact sound like an amazing chance for you and your kids if you can work everything out. 

breebree04
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:12 PM

It doesnt seem like it would hurt to try but maybe look into seeing how many jobs are available there first. If your kids can have both parents in their lives it seems like it would be beneficial to them to move. GL with whatever you decide!

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:16 PM

 HI and welcome to the group.

If you feel that you are comfortable moving there for your reasons stated, then do so.  No one can tell you what you should and should not do.  Good luck.

alittlewicked
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:29 PM

My friend who wants me out there might be able to get me a job where she works. I grew up in the town I'm moving to and I think I can find employment fairly easily since I'm desperate and would take anything. Thanks you ladies! It's nice to have some support in my decision. I do think it is best for my children. Its an amazing community,

EducatedMommie
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:38 PM

I say go for it!  I think it will be good though that you are a distance away from your ex considering your feelings for him.  Make sure before you go that you can come to terms with him having moved on.  I know all too well how messy that can be.  I wish you good luck!

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:20 PM
Look for work out there first see if there are prospects don't rely on the dad for anything

Quoting brieri:

 HI and welcome to the group.


If you feel that you are comfortable moving there for your reasons stated, then do so.  No one can tell you what you should and should not do.  Good luck.

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Robsessed98
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:09 PM
I dont see any reason not to move. Just dont let yourself think that by being close to and co-parenting with the ex means you might get back together. Keep your feelings for him seperate from parenting with him.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:56 PM

Do what you feel is best for your family!!!

justahousewife
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:52 AM
With the kids little this is the time to get on your feet. I finally settled down when my oldest was 4, bought a house in a nice town so she could go to school. Before that we were all over, Maine, Louisiana and Oregon which is our home.
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MicahBoo07
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:51 AM

 Go where u are wanted and have a chance to get a job. Like the other mom said apply to jobs before u go. Ur friend will at some point want money for living with her so don't waste any time on getting a job so u can help out.

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