hi my name is lisa, and my husband and i have 2 sons together, and just a few days ago he tells me that he isnt in love with me anymore and now he wants to live apart, and i have always had him there to help me. and i dont know if i can do it on my own and not have him helping as much as he did. its hard to think that im going to have to do it by myself. i know he will still be there to help. but i know its not going to be the same as it was from day one. he has always been there for me when i needed it. and now he isnt.
it will be hard but you can do it. I also had to do it when I was only 23 yrs old with two kids. I had never even lived on my own let alone with two toddlers. It was a struggle and still is sometimes but I make it work. You can do it! GL
At times it may be hard but you can do it. Just keep your head up and know that everyday gets better. Keep the faith and trust that you will be ok. Have a good day!!
Hi, Lisa and welcome to the group.
It will be hard at first. It just takes to ajust to changes in one's life. I was used to my ex not being around the last three years of our marriage. He was active duty. So that took him away from the home all week long. My DD and I only got to see my ex on Sundays and whenever he happened to be in town. I grew used to doing everything on my own. I even started to fix things without having to ask my ex because by the time he came around the item(s) were fixed. Now, I have a contractor I can rely on to fix the things around my house. Being single and a mom is hard work. Just know that you can do most things if you try. I also know how hard it is to learn that your SO doesn't want to be in your life anymore. I have learned that perhaps it was meant to be. If my ex wasn't happy with me after 26 years he won't be happy with anyone else. Having problems and not fixing them isn't going to make one's life better. Not sure the backstory to your marriage, but you deserve better than your SO leaving you.
It's going to take a new kind of strength for you that is for sure. I'm on the opposite of your situation. I never had the help and have been a single mom now for 20+ years. I used to get asked "how do you do it" a lot...especially when I was going to school and working at the same time. I simply told them that I don't stop to think about how....I just do. I think if you allow yourself to get mired down in the "how" then the actual doing will become more difficult for you.
Also, I would encourage you to talk to your husband and ask him if the two of you can agree on a plan. Surely just because he feels like he no longer loves you means that he wants his children to suffer for it. I would premise your talk by telling him that you understand his feelings about you (even if you don't) but you are worried about how the children will transition....perhaps that will be a great start to helping the two of you parent your children in the best way you can...together even though you don't live together.
Hi and welcome to the group.
Men... they take the easy way out. Make it very difficult for him. Good luck.
Don't panic. You can do it, I promise you can. You don't realize how much you probably already do. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this but you will get through it. And give yourself permission to not be perfect as you go through this stressful time. HUGS
thanks everyone. im 23 and i have 2 boys 3yrs and 20 months old
Abortion
- mommy4life612
on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:05 PM