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IM the "other woman"

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:38 PM
  • 8 Replies

So, after I made that post about my babys father not wanting to be in my or my childs life...i thought about the advice you all gave and i was ready to move on....well recently after coming back from vacation my bd visited me and told me he was sorry for everything and that he wants to move forward and start a life with me and my baby.

we even went to go find out the sex (its a BOY!) however last night his phone was ringing off the hook so i picked it up....normally his phone is locked...well i saw a message between him and his best friend saying that he had to tell Briana (his so called ex) that i was pregnant and that by telling her he would be losing the love of his life.

I was under the impression that he had broken up with her within our first month dating! well he had not and all the while he had been with me and her at the same time. I called him out on it and he said that thats in the past and that only wants to be with me and he has changed but honestly i dont what to think ive been lied to for months now i have to make a decision...be with him or not????

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:38 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Robsessed98
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

If he ended it that long ago, don't you think the best friend would have already known and not sent that text?? He's proven that he will lie to you about that, so odds are he will lie about other things too. If you want to give him a chance anyway, make him prove it. Have him call the girl on speakerphone and let you hear the truth about their relationship. If he refuses to do that, he's still lying to you. Don't think I need to give you advice on what to do if he is.

AO-88
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:57 PM
Tough one. Nobody should ever have to feel like a choice. You should be the ONLY choice otherwise he's not worth it. I know your the "other woman" and that should have never happened either. But that's not my problem, I just think men need to stop playing games. Women aren't options they're people. Good luck.
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zebralove
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Go!

i have the same situation. my baby and "her" child are only 2 months apart. it is so hard to trust him and whenever i see the other child, it brings up nothing but anger/frustration/sadness...etc.

not at the child but at both of them. it has been a year and i decided to take him (bd) back and its been nothing but accomodating her for pick up, schedule...etc.


i resent all of it and i tried to make it work, but until you nkow for sure that he is true, just go! i am currently working on that now.


and to your suprise, my bd phoen is always locked too. douche.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Welcome!

I agree with this.  Never settle for being second choice or leftovers or whatever else you want to call it.  You're better than that!

Quoting AO-88:

Tough one. Nobody should ever have to feel like a choice. You should be the ONLY choice otherwise he's not worth it. I know your the "other woman" and that should have never happened either. But that's not my problem, I just think men need to stop playing games. Women aren't options they're people. Good luck.


mytrueloveS
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:49 PM

So who is the love of his life?  If it's her, walk away.  Starting a relationship based on a lie if not going to work out, I say this from experience.  

steviechick
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:54 PM

My ex had an affair with a co-worker for three years behind my back.  He kept a relationship with me throughout the entire time he was with his mistress.  To think that someone would cheat on his own wife AND have a girlfriend on the side AND create children with this other female gives me chills.  I trusted my ex husband.  He lied to me.  He lied to her about me.  He didn't even tell me he was having an affair until six days before he was deployed to Kuwait.  My ex embezzled money from me, snuck furniture out of the house.  He gave all of this to his mistress.  He has since not paid me cs and the money he still owes me that he embezzled from me.  Not to mention the repo I had to deal with and the new car I had to purchase for our DD.  When  man cheats on his wife he truly can't be trusted.  My ex never ended my marriage to him until it was convenient for him to do so.  I'm sure he lied to her about me and him.  We still had sexual relations.  My ex had a choice to tell me about his affair.  He didn't.  He had a choice between two women.  He chose the mistress after he got her pregnant.  A woman should be in a man's life when he's no longer in someone else's.  I'm talking at least separation.  There was none in my marriage until after I was told.  That was three days after my ex told me of his affair.  My ex's mistress (now wife) will always be the homewrecker. 

If you bf can't even tell you the truth AND truly had left the wife he can't be trusted for anything else.  You at least deserve to be treated better with a cheater. 

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:46 PM

This one is a tough one only you can decide whether you should go or stay, whether you can trust him and whether it's a situation you can work through with him. I would personally not feel comfortable being with a man that can't be faithful because I could never truly trust him but at the same time I'm not  entirely sure that I wouldn't be able to forgive an affair of the man who was genuinely sincere. So like I said you know him better then any of us and you know what you can live with and not, so do what you think will benefit you in the long run, which one will cause you less hurt.  

deltathree
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:50 PM

Only you know what's right.  IMO - he doesn't sound trustworthy.

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