Hi my name is nicole and I am a single mother. I have 2 children an 8 year old boy Deven and an almost 2 year old daughter. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughters father but the same cant be said about my sons. I feel like I am disconnected from my son because I HATE his father. When I got pregnant it was a total SURPRISE. I was not ready for children and I for sure didnt want to have kids with this man. He was just supposed to be a fun time... well as it tuned out I would be stuck with him in my life forever. He never really tried very hard to be a part of Devens life but was in and out. Hes an alcoholic and when we were together we would fight daily. It got to the point that everyday I would tell him I Fu**ing hate you! he was mentally abusive and threw a coffee table at me once. That was the end of things. I made him move out, but ever since then it feels like my relationship with my son has always been a challenge. I LOVE him with all my heart but a lot of times I dont like him. He looks and acts just like his dad and I am not sure how to get past this. Now his father and I have been seperated for 7 years and I still feel this way. I need help on ways that I can feel the same love for my son as I do for my daughter. I want so bad to hug him and feel that warm fuzzy feeling that I do when I hug my daughter. Maybe its because my son and I are very alike in that we are stubborn, bullheads, we yell and argue.. (we are Italian Lol) we do a lot sit and have civil conversations and hes a great kid. Smart, most times honest and polite gets good grades and so on but I just dont feel the same connection. Anyone have any idea what I am talking about?