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New to all of this..

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:49 AM
  • 5 Replies
My name is Kayla. I'm 25 and have raised my 5 year old, Kennedee, alone since utero. Had a fling 6 years ago, broke it off, and he decided he didn't want this life. I also don't get any help from family, as they are all too involved in their own lives. So far, she's turned out to be an absolutely extraordinary child. I joined this site because I want to be able to connect with others in similar situations. I have friends who are single moms, as well as just moms in general, but it just doesn't seem like we have much common ground in this department.

My daughter has recently been bringing up questions as to why she can't see her dad, and I've been struggling not only with answers, but also with guilt and fear for her future. I grew up without a father, and trust me, I've made some pretty stupid choices in life. I don't want her to be a statistic and I don't want her to ever feel less than proud of herself. I want to be the best mom I can be, and the best person I can be, so she can strive to do the same. I'm very closed off in the emotions department and struggle to ask for help of any kind, mainly because I am stubborn and my pride prevents me from doing so. Just looking for some advice and understanding...and yes, help.
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:49 AM
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Replies (1-5):
BentleyManoula
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:11 AM
Hi, I'm Wonder and have a newborn named Bentley (boy). Welcome! Feel free to message me :)
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Welcome! Be honest your dad wasn't ready to be a dad but you have lots of people who love and are here for you. I had a dad around and I still made stupid decisions and choices
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:59 PM

Welcome Kayla!

Don't feel guilt about being a single parent.  In this day and age, it's nothing unusual and not even the same as it was when we were kids.  I'm sure you're a great mom and Kennedee is lucky to have you.

Quoting KayAndKen:

My name is Kayla. I'm 25 and have raised my 5 year old, Kennedee, alone since utero. Had a fling 6 years ago, broke it off, and he decided he didn't want this life. I also don't get any help from family, as they are all too involved in their own lives. So far, she's turned out to be an absolutely extraordinary child. I joined this site because I want to be able to connect with others in similar situations. I have friends who are single moms, as well as just moms in general, but it just doesn't seem like we have much common ground in this department.

My daughter has recently been bringing up questions as to why she can't see her dad, and I've been struggling not only with answers, but also with guilt and fear for her future. I grew up without a father, and trust me, I've made some pretty stupid choices in life. I don't want her to be a statistic and I don't want her to ever feel less than proud of herself. I want to be the best mom I can be, and the best person I can be, so she can strive to do the same. I'm very closed off in the emotions department and struggle to ask for help of any kind, mainly because I am stubborn and my pride prevents me from doing so. Just looking for some advice and understanding...and yes, help.


LaBelladreamer
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you are definitely off to a good start in the mommy department because you want more for your daughter.
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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:26 AM

I was same situation as you but bd came into the picture in May when my son was 4 1/2. I would tell him that he has a dad but we cant see him because he lives far away. I said I didnt know why he cant be here. It is the truth. But baby steps to age appropriate discussions. She is too young to understand. But since you had no father as well you should teach her through your experience how you felt at her age when your dad wasnt there. Id also say try some therapy for you two. It would be good for you both to cope together.

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