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MIA Father...How to answer a 3yr old where her father is???

My kid has seen her father a few times but it doesn't seem he will be around for a while, who knows. But I need to know how to explain to my kid where her biological father is? Or do I not say anything? I don't really know what to say since 1. I want to make sure what I say doesn't negatively affect her because I had a "sperm donor" that diched his kids to live a stressfree life and left his ex to deal with all his kids on her own. 2. I don't know if my childs biological father will resurface in her life because nothing was really agreed upon the last time we spoke. But she has been asking for a while. I don't want to talk negatively about him because she should be allowed to make up her mind about him and two I feel like she shouldn't have to deal with the negative feelings. She is three and I'm lost as far as telling her he lives close just chooses not to be a part of your life. I thought about the," your father died in battle" and all those lines BUT the truth always comes out and I'd rather her know Mommy always was truthful with me than her feel like she has no one she can trust. I'm so lost with what to tell her that won't cause a wound that will take forever to heal or may never heal. Advice???



Thank you
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Replies (41-47):
Pessema
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

That really sucks. As long as you be the best mom you can be and make sure she knows that you love her she will be fine. :)

LaBelladreamer
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:28 AM

 

Thank you! I will try my best and I guess I'll know if I succeeded when she get's older ;)

Quoting Pessema:

That really sucks. As long as you be the best mom you can be and make sure she knows that you love her she will be fine. :)


 

Caramel824
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:13 PM

 


Quoting Caramel824:

I'm wrong because I don't talk nice about these low life's I picked,my son deals with his father and my daughter doesn't want anything to do with her dad.he's not there and he don't care about me,so I don't care about him!!!I say he's Muslim he doesn't believe in Jesus,so he doesn't care for anything.but the devil.my daughter said mom I want to go to church,I gave her money for the collection plate.only GOD can fix this mess.

Recently my daughter has asked where her father is?her 7th birthday was jan 25th.

 

CARAMEL824
LaBelladreamer
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:21 PM

 

:( What did you tell her? I'm still finding it difficult to explain things to my 3yr old babygirl. I tried to tell her about different families when she asked me but trying to get my 3year old to sit through that talk is kind of hard.

 

Quoting Caramel824:

 

 

Quoting Caramel824:

I'm wrong because I don't talk nice about these low life's I picked,my son deals with his father and my daughter doesn't want anything to do with her dad.he's not there and he don't care about me,so I don't care about him!!!I say he's Muslim he doesn't believe in Jesus,so he doesn't care for anything.but the devil.my daughter said mom I want to go to church,I gave her money for the collection plate.only GOD can fix this mess.

Recently my daughter has asked where her father is?her 7th birthday was jan 25th.

 

 

 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:39 PM

 I agree with this.  I definately would not say that he died though, that could (and usually does) come back to bite you in the butt in the future.


Quoting Mocking.Jay:

... you just tell them honestly that you don't know or just don't say anything. My son didn't really start asking until he turned 4.


 

LaBelladreamer
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:52 PM
The thought crossed my mind when thinking of what to tell her but I'd never go this route because I dont lie and I feel my child deserves the truth so she can make her own mind up of her MIA father. Any suggestions of things I could say would be appreciated. Like how somebody in a similar situation handled it or what words you used.


Quoting easinpc:

 I agree with this.  I definately would not say that he died though, that could (and usually does) come back to bite you in the butt in the future.




Quoting Mocking.Jay:


... you just tell them honestly that you don't know or just don't say anything. My son didn't really start asking until he turned 4.




 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Caramel824
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:45 AM
I told dee dee her father was in NEW YORK with his wife,and three other sisters one by another lady,whom he might be with I don't know and I don't look for him.She said well I don't care about him cuz he ain't looking for me,he don't want me.I said ibdoubt he's taking care of his other kids,so your not the only child he aint supporting!!
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