How soon do you let the guy know you have kids? Do you get to the person first, and let that person get to know you a little? Or...do you blurt it out as soon as you think you may have a common interest?
Carmalita
I knew he was it for me and he never once faltered. He fell in love with them just as much add he fell in love with me and he loved being a part of a family.
If someone isn't 100% alright with you and ALL of you, they weren't worth your time anyways. I dated a few men who went on several dates with me and let it slip one way or another that they were with me in spite of me having children, or that they didn't like kids really. I literally never spoke to ant of them after i felt the first inkling that they wouldn't love my children like their own.
I happy it worked out for you in the end. I asked this question, because a realtor my company works close with had been flirting with me for a while. So eventually I became interested, and I expressed it to him. He asked about my kids, then told me he didn't know if we should go any further because he didn't want kids. Then he continued to compliment me on how sexy and beautiful I am. I was completely confused by this, and told him I wanted to keep things professional due to his thoughts on kids.
so far the men i have dated have known right away. for me personally i feel like i have to be upfront right away as to not waste my time. in your situation i would have done what you did, when things started going in that direction i would have told him like you did and go from there, but since he said he doesnt want kids i would move on.
It was one of the first things out of my mouth. I wouldn't even bother going on a date with a man unless he knew I had a child.
Hi carmalita,
i would tell a man from the get go. If it puts him off it means you haven't wasted time on a guy who can't accept a the whole package. I have had two medium term relationships and neither ended because of the children. It was because they had run their course. Having said that neither of them were allowed to meet the kids for the first 6 months!! I had to make sure they were worth it first and I didn't want the kids to invest emotionally in someone who might be gone in a few months. It's a balance Carmalita, but when it works its such a good feeling. I just want to know how I find a 'forever' love!!!
jackie x
I let the guy know right off the bat. No sense in hiding or denying your children because what if you start getting into him and he's like I don't like kids or don't want kids? I would never not tell a guy I had a child. He has to be accepting of my child before I will accept him.
Good news, im so excited!
- Carmalita28
on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:57 PM