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Dating with kids

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:57 PM
  • 16 Replies

How soon do you let the guy know you have kids? Do you get to the person first, and let that person get to know you a little? Or...do you blurt it out as soon as you think you may have a common interest?

Carmalita

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:57 PM
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First_One_8_18
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:05 PM
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Everyone i dated knew i had two children immediately, but never met them. My now husband knew because we were friends first. He took me out for dinner and drinks on our first date on Saturday, then stayed the night and celebrated Easter with all of us on Sunday.

I knew he was it for me and he never once faltered. He fell in love with them just as much add he fell in love with me and he loved being a part of a family.

If someone isn't 100% alright with you and ALL of you, they weren't worth your time anyways. I dated a few men who went on several dates with me and let it slip one way or another that they were with me in spite of me having children, or that they didn't like kids really. I literally never spoke to ant of them after i felt the first inkling that they wouldn't love my children like their own.
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Carmalita28
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:19 PM

I happy it worked out for you in the end. I asked this question, because a realtor my company works close with had been flirting with me for a while. So eventually I became interested, and I expressed it to him. He asked about my kids, then told me he didn't know if we should go any further because he didn't want kids.  Then he continued to compliment me on how sexy and beautiful I am. I was completely confused by this, and told him I wanted to keep things professional due to his thoughts on kids.

lydi
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:24 PM
3 moms liked this

 so far the men i have dated have known right away. for me personally i feel like i have to be upfront right away as to not waste my time. in your situation i would have done what you did, when things started going in that direction i would have told him like you did and go from there, but since he said he doesnt want kids i would move on.

MissTuree
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:32 PM
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It was one of the first things out of my mouth. I wouldn't even bother going on a date with a man unless he knew I had a child.

Englishmom400
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:33 PM

Hi carmalita,

i would tell a man from the get go. If it puts him off it means you haven't wasted time on a guy who can't accept a the whole package. I have had two medium term relationships and neither ended because of the children. It was because they had run their course. Having said that neither of them were allowed to meet the kids for the first 6 months!! I had to make sure they were worth it first and I didn't want the kids to invest emotionally in someone who might be gone in a few months. It's a balance Carmalita, but when it works its such a good feeling. I just want to know how I find a 'forever' love!!!

jackie x


KRIZZ25
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i wish my heart would just stop.
Wednesday at 7:04 PM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:36 PM
I TELL EM UP FRONT ..
Sj218
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:40 PM
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My child is my biggest source of joy and pride. I don't plan on introducing every man I date to my kiddo, but they will know about him the first time we speak. He and I are a package deal.
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mrsary
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I literally blurt it. My kids are my main conversations! Lol
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SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:08 PM

 I let the guy know right off the bat. No sense in hiding or denying your children because what if you start getting into him and he's like I don't like kids or don't want kids? I would never not tell a guy I had a child. He has to be accepting of my child before I will accept him.

First_One_8_18
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this
Keep it moving! he can go be wishy washy about babies elsewhere. You come as a package.
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