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Single Moms Single Moms

Just wondering if anyone else here is in the same boat?  My husband died in a motorcycle accident 2 years ago while I was 8 weeks pregnant.  It is always so hard to find anyone who can relate to my situation (In real life and on CM or any other sites) and lord knows I've looked haha!

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Replies (11-18):
achavez219
by Abby on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Yeah I know the feeling. I've gotten good at not crying when I talk about it anymore but the sympathy stares or the awkward silence are always the most uncomfortable.

Good luck! I hope u find it as helpful & comforting as I have :)


Quoting vlr4x4:

I just moved into a new house and of course my new neighbors were pretty nosy about where my husband is so I had to break down and tell them.  I think I always take people off guard because I don't get upset about it anymore when I talk about it and they always expect you to be the grieving widow.

Maybe I'll look into someone like that.  Thanks  :)



Quoting achavez219:

 I totally agree.  Sometimes its hard to explain the reason they aren't around & then there's that awkward silence because they don't know how to respond.


I'm currently seeing a therapist & she's great.  Since my dh commited suicide, its a bit different but I love the fact that she does grief counseling & she's not one to prescribe medications like others do (especially since she diagnosed me with PTSD).


Quoting vlr4x4:


Well I'm glad there are others out there, I find it hard to relate to other single moms because I never went through a divorce or any of that.  And that's usually what people assume when you say your child's dad isn't around.  Not saying that divorce is any more/less difficult, it's just a whole different ball park.  


Achavez219 - Do you see a therapist or go to a support group?  Just curious  :)


 




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Modestdresses
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Helping Moms  http://gleaningtheharvest.com/

AprilAT
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 10:10 PM
Hi. I lost my SO in '09 at 5 weeks pregnant. It's always an awkward moment when I am asked or need to explain. usually try and change the subject or avoid answering questions. And I too find it difficult to find other single moms in the same boat. I recently came across a book - Signs of Life by Natalie Taylor and am realizing there are others who have experienced loss while preggo. Worse thing to ever happen but I appreciate knowing there are others who can relate. :(

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Hunyb10
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 10:41 PM
Its quite sad to see so many of us going through the same things.. I lost the love of my life march 25, 2010 in a car accident. We have 2 girls together. And I say have because I feel he is always with me. I never got counseling for myself nor my girls but we do live with the hopes that one day we will get to see him again. :-) anyone else feel the same way?
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vlr4x4
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Hunyb - I know what you mean, my whole outlook on death changed after my husband died.  Before I used to be afraid to even think about the uncertainty of it, but after he passed I feel a sense of security to know that he is waiting for me.  Almost like I have something to look forward to  :)  

April - I may have to check out that book...I could never accept that I was the only person to go through this.  It sometimes feels like I did something wrong and I'm ashamed to admit that my husband died while I was pregnant...when really there is nothing for me to feel ashamed about.  But I always avoid admitting it until someone comes right out and asks about him.

Example:  Just recently I moved back to my hometown with my son and ran into a lady working at the grocery store where I used to work back in high school.  She asked me about my husband and for some reason I pretended like he was still alive!  It was like I was talking and my mind was screaming at me "what the hell are you doing!!??"  When we left I just sat in my truck and cried, it was the dumbest thing because now every time I go in there and see her I'll have to pretend that he is still alive ugh!!

librarywizard
by Member on Mar. 12, 2013 at 5:37 PM
I am a widow too. My husband killed himself in 2003. I went to a grief group specifically for people who have lost someone to suicide that was really helpful. My son was 14 months old at the time, he does not remember his dad. Sorry for your loss.
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vlr4x4
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 10:39 PM
I am so sorry that happened to you ((hug)) Everyone's story is different but I can't imagine how hard dealing with suicide must have been for you. How old is your son now? Does he ask you about his father? That is something I worry about as my son gets older.
Quoting librarywizard:

I am a widow too. My husband killed himself in 2003. I went to a grief group specifically for people who have lost someone to suicide that was really helpful. My son was 14 months old at the time, he does not remember his dad. Sorry for your loss.

librarywizard
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

My son is going to be 11 next week, and no, he does not ask about his dad. My son has autism, ADHD, OCD, and has never spoken in words. We live with my mom and the rest of the family is also around to help. If my son ever is able to talk to me, I don't know what I would tell him about his dad.

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