So the guy I'm kinda dating has told me that my son is "spoiled rotten" a few times. He has a little girl who is about a year younger than my son. I almost feel like he compares our kids and that's how he's coming to that conclusion. But the truth of the matter is that their situations are NOTHING alike. In fact, her situation is tons better in my opinion. I'll give a couple examples of when he's said it and my argument against it.
A few weeks ago, I was at his house and he pointed to his daughter's toys and says "You see how many toys she has? Zion is spoiled rotten. He has too many toys." His daughter has two homes to go to... my son has one. She has four grandparents and one step-grandmother to visit... he has one. There's no telling how many toys she really has. And, besides that, about 90% of the toys that Zion has were given to me for him to have. I have no money for toys. I barely have money for new clothes (I would say about 80-85% of his clothes were given).
Last night was the last time he said it. Zion is very difficult to get to sleep and has been for most of his life. For about a week or so, it's been a bit extreme (I may post about that later for some advice). I called him after Zion fell sleep and he says "So are you holding Zion?" (by the way, I can't remember the last time I held Zion at bedtime). I said "No... he's been crazy at bedtime lately". I was about to explain to him what's been going on but before I could finish my statement, he says "Zion is spoiled rotten! Just put him in bed and let him cry!". This is when I got upset. I said "You keep saying that I spoil him and you don't even know what the hell I do with him!"... then he hung up on me (I assume for raising my voice). He's never witnessed me put my son to bed. At bedtime, I take him to his room, we pray, I give him a hug and a kiss, say goodnight and lay him down. Zion gets out of bed numerous time before falling asleep. Each time, I put him back in bed, say goodnight and walk out.
I find it extremely offensive to tell someone that they're child is spoiled especially when you've hardly had a chance to see them interact with their child. I am truly trying my best for Zion. I am a single mom with no help from his father. I just moved to a new state and have no family or friends around to help out. And I don't make much money. This week, I had to deny my child something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich a few times because I didn't have enough money to buy cheese until I got paid. And somehow, you think that I spoil him??
I texted him and let him know that I found it offensive. He apparently thinks that I "took it the wrong way and ran with it". Am I wrong for feeling offended by that?
Update: We're done. *sigh of relief* He texted me this morning and said "I think it's best we don't talk anymore. You're a great person and I don't feel I truly make you happy and I don't want to hold you back from finding someone who will."
on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:38 PM