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Well he lasted 4 whole months!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:26 PM
  • 10 Replies

So my divorce has been final since September and ex has stuck to CO 100% since then. I know he was only doing it bc when we had our temp order I used all the times he didn't get the kids against him to show how unstable he is. It has now been 4 months and tonight he calls and tells me he has new hours at work (which I do not believe one bit) and he can't get the kids tomorrow. He said he doesn't know what is going to go on with our schedule now and flat out told me the only reason he has stuck to it was bc he thinks I will take him back to court if he doesn't.

I told him I wouldn't and I know things are going to start to change now. It sucks for my kids bc even though he really is an a**hole, they were trying to build a relationship with him. They already mention how he is not consistent in calling them or answering the phone when they call him.

I'm glad that I will have more time with my kids and he will have less influence, I'm just sad that the kids are upset about it  :(

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Ugh I'm sorry but I'm glad your kids have you as a stable in their lives
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mytrueloveS
by Lori on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:35 AM

That's how my ex is.  My son used to ask me why his father never showed up.  It's sad for the children, but they realize that their father's don't care, and soon they won't care for the father.  My son doesn't want his father in his life anymore.  

LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:02 PM

My DD told me this morning she missed her dad :(  I am having such mixed feelings bc I always wanted him out of our lives (kids included) but now that he is pulling this "Don't take the kids on his time" stuff it really hurts to see the kids unhappy about it. I know he will never completely leave their lives, he is just going to be so sporadic that it is going to confuse them even more than he does now!


Quoting mytrueloveS:

That's how my ex is.  My son used to ask me why his father never showed up.  It's sad for the children, but they realize that their father's don't care, and soon they won't care for the father.  My son doesn't want his father in his life anymore.  


 

breebree04
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I went through the same thing with my ex. He is better now but he goes through periods where he will be consistent and get the kids every other weekend (for 1-2 years) and then all of a sudden he will start missing visitation (usually for few months). I get the same lame excuse (I know hes lying), usually its a work thing. We use to fight about it because the kids would get so upset and he wouldnt talk to them he made me tell them but now I just dont even say anything to him. The kids are starting to see his ways and its not worth the fight because it never changes anything. I just try to be there for my kids when he bails on them. I try to do special things with them to distract them like go to park, out to eat, see a movie, ect....

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I'm sorry that your children are hurt by their father action not to keep to the CO , but may have  a talk with them acknowledge that you know how they are feeling and that sometimes talking about it will make them feel better and you will always try to cheer them up as well. You can also try making the days he was suppose to take the kids a "special day" or 'special night" activity like they get to choose what they eat for dinner or they get to do something special like stay up an extra hour to watch TV with you or play a family game. Things that will make those days more positive for them. 

abusednotbroken
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:44 PM

HUGS

LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:10 PM

Thanks friend :)


Quoting abusednotbroken:

HUGS


 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:30 PM

So sorry...

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:32 AM

My ex was paying me cs when he was deployed.  He was forced to pay me or he would have to deal with his XO.  Once he got back from deployment he decided to delcare a Chapter 7 in order to try and get out of paying me back the money he embezzled from me while having an affair and the loan I took out to pay for the car that I had to replace for my DD due to my ex's repo.  Thing is that my ex didn't know is that you can't discharge a divorce settlement.  In the settlement my ex agreed to pay our DD a certain amount every month while she attended college.  He only gave her half of it back in July and actually told her he didn't have the rest because he had to use it to file for Chapter 7.  Yes, a real 'winner' there.  Since his Chap 7 was filed in the courts (in Oct) he's not paid us one dime.  He left the NG.  He knew he had to because of of all of his financial problems.  Now, my DD and I are taking him to court in March.  Should be interesting since I found out a month ago he took out a loan prior to filing his Chapter 7.  A loan he has no idea I know about. I really can't wait until March.  I'll see my ex squirm in his seat while having to defend his actions to the judge.  My ex paid me and my DD because he was forced to the first go round.  He will be forced to pay us once again the second go round.  He'll always be a financial loser.  Was one when we were married. 

So, I know how you feel about your ex.  It sickens me to see my ex continue down this path of financial destruction.  He has two more kids (with his mistress) to take care of.  Add that to what he owes me and our DD.  What a mess he has gotten himself into.  All we can do is shake our heads at our exs and teach our kids about responsibility and having the right character.  I think the bad examples our ex's show our kids actully will help them in the long run.  They will know first hand how making decisions like this affects everyone in a bad way.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree with this!  Hugs!


Quoting LifeCafe42:

Ugh I'm sorry but I'm glad your kids have you as a stable in their lives


 

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