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Not sure what to do or how to handle these CRAZY people!

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:36 PM
  • 7 Replies

I have alot of issues with the Father of my 13 month old such as he did not even meet her until she was 3 months old. He was not there for me during my pregnancy or birth. Then, when he did come to see her when she was 3 months old, he kept telling me that HE forgave ME! As if I was the one in the wrong and had to be forgiven. (that ticked me off because I was the one with the right to be mad and I was the one who had to forgive, not him). Anyway, he saw her for about 3 months and stopped coming for 5 more months even though he had a court order saying he gets her for a few hours on Fridays and Sundays without me around. He even tried to get a restraining order on me for no reason and his Mother called CPS on me. He also wanted to keep my daughter over night and I feel that since she hardly even knows him and is so young, that is a huge NO.

When he gets his visitation (Friday 5:45pm to 7:45pm and Sunday 1pm to 7pm) it is mainly for his Mother. A little history before I let you in on my dilemma - he has 2 other kids from 2 other different women. The first son he does not even know. The 2nd son, he has full custody of. I am afraid they are going to try to get full custody of my daughter by sabotaging me. I know that sounds paranoid so here is the history I promised: Before my ex (if you want to even call him that since he would never date me) got full custody of his son.. when he was still married, his son was sick and my ex was at work so his mother offered to his wife to babysit so she could get rest. His wife said yes and took the boy to the grandmother's house. The wife told the grandmother that she had just given the child cough medication (he was 2 or 3) and not to give him more until later on. Well, the grandmother not only gave the child another dose right after he got there, but she took pictures and claimed this woman doped her own kid.

 Fast forward to last week, my daughter was sick. Since her grandmother has been nice to me, I asked if she would watch my daughter and take her to the Doctor because she had a high fever. She took her to the Doctor and my daughter was negative for strep and flu, but the doctor prescribed her tamiflu because he was afraid she was getting the flu. When I went to pick up my daughter, the CRAZY woman told me that the doctor said my daughter had to stay home for at least 3 days and that I could stop the tamiflu Wednesday (2 days early) if Lexi's fever was gone. She also forgot to give my daughter her ear drops and she had just gotten ear tubes 3 days prior.

 I did not believe her about the tamiflu so Wednesday evening, I looked around for the papers from the Doctor. I found nowhere on there that I could stop the tamiflu early, but I did see where she specifically requested a prescription of Rx diaper cream which she did not tell me about so she did it behind my back. I also found in the bottom of the diaper bag, a Doctor's note saying my daughter could return to daycare after 24 hours of being fever free which would have been 1 less day of me dealing with this crazy woman. Since I could not find where the doctor "said I could stop tamiflu" I gave my daughter her evening and morning doses because I didn't see how it would hurt. I then called the doctor the next day to find out that "we absolutely did NOT tell her that you could stop the tamiflu, you need to give it to her until the prescribed dosage is up."

 So.. if you read this far, thank you... but now I am afraid that she is trying to sabotage me on purpose. Does anyone have any advice at all on how to deal with psychos like this?

 Thanks,

Wendy

 

by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:36 PM
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Replies (1-7):
victoriahearts
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:48 PM

I would say avoid her if you can and don't allow her to take your child to the doctor, there are very few times that I do for my son that I don't allow our nanny to do , one is to take my child to the doctor, so many things can be lost when giving information to another person especially in your case where you know for a fact she has would be willing to lie in order to get her way. I would allow the father to keep his visitation rights if he uses them because if you don't you will be found in violation and can be taken to court over it but if he doesn't take them, just leave it , don't offer any type of visitation to the mother unless you are present and if you ever have to keep your daughter home from day care, either take the day off or find someone else more reliable and trusting. In your case it's better to be paranoid then to find it out months later that you had every right to be paranoid.

HyperMom38
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Do not ask her to babysit or take your kid to the doctors anymore.  If she doesn't see her she has no ammunition to use against you.  You need to find a friend or someone else to watch her when she is sick or stay home from work if you have to. 

Please don't say you don't have any other choice.  Just sayin- I kind of feel it coming because you KNEW that she has done this to the mother of another of her son's kids and yet you still let her babysit???  Overdosing that child on medicine could have killed him, not giving a baby tamiflu as prescribed could allow her to get full blown flu and this year that is DEADLY!!!  Please re-evaluate your priorities and put the child's best interests first.

massconfusion14
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:38 PM

I dont offer visitation to her... she is there EVERY time I meet with the father to drop my daughter off and pick her up.. she is the one who drives.. and I'm pretty sure she takes my daughter back to her place and the father goes home until it's time to make the exchange again. I can't prove it though.

 

massconfusion14
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 4:39 PM

It's not that I knew it happened to the other mother.. I didn't know if I could believe her because from what the father has told me, she is a compulsive liar.. I didn't believe it until the tamiflu incident and now I am terrified! And it terrifies me more that when her father has visitation, his Mom is always there (his mom is the one who drives to pick my daughter up) and it's in the court papers that even if the father isn't there, I have to surrender my child to this woman.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs!

steviechick
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:00 AM

Since you have already dealt with bad behavior from your ex's mom, I would go to the court and have the visitation rights switched from allowing your ex's mom be involved with your child.  She's already endangered the child once.  She shouldn't be around her anymore.  Call your atty or inform child support services what is going on.  They have the legal support to intervene in this case. 

massconfusion14
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 11:17 AM

 I called CPS and asked for advice, but my attorney is $350 an hour which I cannot afford. CPS gave me a family law hotline, but I probably make too much money to take advantage of it.. I just have to find a cheaper attorney and hope that the new one is half as good as the old one.


Quoting steviechick:

Since you have already dealt with bad behavior from your ex's mom, I would go to the court and have the visitation rights switched from allowing your ex's mom be involved with your child.  She's already endangered the child once.  She shouldn't be around her anymore.  Call your atty or inform child support services what is going on.  They have the legal support to intervene in this case. 


 

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