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All work and no play. Im losing it!

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Monday through Friday I work all day, pick up my daughter from daycare, come home with enough time to walk the dog, give my daughter dinner before bed and change her diaper. After she's asleep, I get her bottles ready, maybe eat, then somehow its already almost 11 when I go to bed.

On the weekends, I try to figure out how to keep her from screaming at be because I dont know how to play with her since she's the only real interaction ive had with a child...... I literally have no help from anyone and am so stressed out that my mind is going a mile a minute in every direction except the one I need it to go....

And to top it off, this stupid woman at the daycare is trying to step on my relationship with my daughter. I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!

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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:09 AM
Replies (11-20):
loneventure23
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:22 PM
No, trust me that's not it. Its somewhat of a racial thing. Im as focused as I can be with her. My mom neglected me when I as a child, and I realize how damaging it is. So I pay close attention to how I interact with my daughter. The best way to put it is-When im with her she as my focus, everything else gets checked at the door till naptime.

The fact is-No paid caretaker should put any one child above the rest. They shouldn't ignore a screaming child to play with a calm and content one. They shouldn't memorize your schedule and shift theirs, so that they can be around your child more often. They shouldn't stop you on your way out, after they've clocked out, to say goodbye to your child when neither adult has expressed any kind of friendship toward each other. And most importantly, they shouldn't assume a child/baby is a certain nationality and speak to them in only a foreign language they've deemed worthy. This woman has crossed SO many boundaries, I left the daycare shaking yesterday I was so mad.


Quoting Rosalind2012:

Ask someone to babysit for you. You need a break. Then recharge and get back to your daughter, refreshed and ready to play with her. One thing I learned when I was a younger single mom, is that I really regret how disengaged I was when my sweet little boy was babbling away at me, trying to get my attention. How I wish for those days now. Time flies by quicker than you know it, and before long, they won't want to talk to you anymore as they used to. Make some time for her, read her a book, sing a song to her, play a game...she will remember it more than you know. I know the challenge of being tired, I do. Set up a babysitter, even if it's for a short period of time (or do what I do, get in the car and drive around with a coffee -often times the kids fall asleep) so that you will be ready to focus on her. About the lady at the daycare, I wonder if she's picking up on your lack of energy in interacting with your daughter, and she's trying to make up for it for her. Not that I'm saying that it doesnt totally tick you off and rightly so, but it's hitting a nerve with you because you know what you should be doing... We only get one shot with our kids' childhoods. We have to get it right.


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loneventure23
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:40 PM
Well, im not always good at remembering that she WANTS me to hold her. I've been through alot and am so used to being ignored and unwanted, that to all of a sudden have this little person that loves being around and actually wants my attention, it throws me off sometimes. I look at her when she's crying like that and I think to myself, "I dont understand, she just had a nap, she ate, I changed her, she has a toy, what could she want? Oh yeah! ME!" Plus im terrible at telling when she's actually ready for a nap, rather than bored of the excersaucer. Oh, sorry, she's 5 months-teething, sick, and constipated.


Quoting Robsessed98:

Totally agree with taking some me time. That's the only way I made it through raising 2 girls. You didn't say how old she is, but just interact with her and make up ways to play as you go along. She probably cries like that because she sense your stress and frustration and because she just wants and needs some attention. Hang in there and relax. You'll get it and will be fine.


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KRIZZ25
Report
get man out of the white house put god back in and see what happens..
Yesterday at 1:03 PM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:41 PM
change day cares...it will get better as she gets older.kids will always know mommy.
loneventure23
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Am I allowed to do that if I have state assistance to help pay for daycare? Im afraid they'll cancel the assistance if I do that.


Quoting RobJar:

As the above posters have said. Take some time for yourself. Go get a mani pedi. Or just go home and nap.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KRIZZ25
Report
get man out of the white house put god back in and see what happens..
Yesterday at 1:03 PM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM
maybe wen u get stressed singe a funny silly song ..sing to her ,read to her.play wth her .love her.. that all u can do.
loneventure23
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:49 PM
I do love her. More than words can describe. I think she senses it, cuz the people at the daycare tell me almost daily how calm and mellow she is. Since she first started going to daycare they've been taken back by how mellow she is. She really does pick up on my level of stress. She's so sensitive. If she's crying alot and I lose and just start sobbing, she'll stop crying and just stare at me. Almost like she's thinking, "You're not supposed to cry. What's wrong?" she's done that since we were in the hospital.


Quoting KRIZZ25:

maybe wen u get stressed singe a funny silly song ..sing to her ,read to her.play wth her .love her.. that all u can do.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
megan91
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:25 AM
Quoting loneventure23:





you can switch daycares even if the state pays for it. when i told them its hard for me to trust people with my child, they just gave me a list of day cares that they pay for and said check them out and choose. just talk to them and say you arent comfortable with that day care any more and they will help you out...
megan91
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Quoting massconfusion14:




i live in utah. you?
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:20 AM
Talk to their supervisor. Or maybe even look into new child care.

Quoting loneventure23:

She, and a few other women, are treating my daughter like she's there's and im just the sitter.




Quoting sid1083:

It is hard when it always feels like you're working. How is the daycare lady trying to step on your relationship?

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Rosalind2012
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:51 AM

 Well! That would certainly be frustrating! I agree, what she's doing is inappropriate. I would speak to the manager about it, and tell him/her how uncomfortable it makes you. Good luck. I know how hard it is to do what you have to do when totaly wiped out (that's me right now). I have a 6 month old and a 2 year old at home with me during mat leave, but also a 12 and 16 year old (who are more independent, but still need me). The 6 month old won't sleep at night and I'm exhausted. So my mom's coming over today to take the 2 year old for the afternoon. If you have someone who would do that for you, I would take advantage of that.

Quoting loneventure23:

No, trust me that's not it. Its somewhat of a racial thing. Im as focused as I can be with her. My mom neglected me when I as a child, and I realize how damaging it is. So I pay close attention to how I interact with my daughter. The best way to put it is-When im with her she as my focus, everything else gets checked at the door till naptime.

The fact is-No paid caretaker should put any one child above the rest. They shouldn't ignore a screaming child to play with a calm and content one. They shouldn't memorize your schedule and shift theirs, so that they can be around your child more often. They shouldn't stop you on your way out, after they've clocked out, to say goodbye to your child when neither adult has expressed any kind of friendship toward each other. And most importantly, they shouldn't assume a child/baby is a certain nationality and speak to them in only a foreign language they've deemed worthy. This woman has crossed SO many boundaries, I left the daycare shaking yesterday I was so mad.


Quoting Rosalind2012:

Ask someone to babysit for you. You need a break. Then recharge and get back to your daughter, refreshed and ready to play with her. One thing I learned when I was a younger single mom, is that I really regret how disengaged I was when my sweet little boy was babbling away at me, trying to get my attention. How I wish for those days now. Time flies by quicker than you know it, and before long, they won't want to talk to you anymore as they used to. Make some time for her, read her a book, sing a song to her, play a game...she will remember it more than you know. I know the challenge of being tired, I do. Set up a babysitter, even if it's for a short period of time (or do what I do, get in the car and drive around with a coffee -often times the kids fall asleep) so that you will be ready to focus on her. About the lady at the daycare, I wonder if she's picking up on your lack of energy in interacting with your daughter, and she's trying to make up for it for her. Not that I'm saying that it doesnt totally tick you off and rightly so, but it's hitting a nerve with you because you know what you should be doing... We only get one shot with our kids' childhoods. We have to get it right.



 

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